For the Love of Joker
by naturefreak0
Summary: Doctor Harleen Quinzel's life couldn't seem any better, She's got an adoring fiancee, She's got a best friend who would do anything for her, She's living out her life-long dream, Then it all seems that her life is crashing down on her when she meets the one, and only, Clown Prince of Crime... the infamous Joker. Does she know him from her past, or not? Is he messing with her head?
1. Chapter 1

%Harley Quinn%

Vrrrr vrrr, vrrr vrrr. I heard my phone buzz on my bedside table. My eyes fluttered open, and I looked at the numbers on my digital clock. Damn, 1:07 AM. I sat up and grabbed my blackberry off of the table, it was the Asylum calling. I pressed the answer button.

"Doctor Harleen Quinzel speaking." I groggily spoke into the receiver.

"Hello Doctor Quinzel, this is GCPD commissioner Gordon speaking, I apologize for the late call but he requested you personally."

What. I blinked hard.

"Commissioner, I apologize but, it is one in the morning. I have no idea who you are talking about."

"Do you have a television, Doctor?"

What a strange question.

"Of course, why?"  
"You might want to tune it in to news station 3, I believe Jack Ryder-" I instinctively like to my left side- sure enough Jack's gone"- is reporting right now on tonight's events. Call the Asylum back at extension 423 when you understand." the phone line went dead. I never did understand why policemen were so cryptic, but either way I grab the remote control and switch the tv to channel 3.

Sure enough I see channel 3 news anchor, love of my life, Jack Ryder. And he's got his reporter voice on. I turn up the volume,

"... Again I say, the Joker had been captured by Batman. When we come back, we'll go to Vicki Vale, live at Arkham Asylum with Gotham City Police Department commissioner James Gordon."

The screen went black for a moment, then the commercials ran. A commercial for Gotham city reality, the Real Housewives of Gotham, Wayne enterprises something or other, and then finally the news came back and I saw the blonde hair, blue eye visage of Vicki Vale.

"Hello, and good early-" she giggled "-morning Gothamites. This is Vicki Vale reporting, live with GCPD commissioner Gordon. Commissioner Gordon, what has really been going on, this fall morning in Gotham?" Her voice had the authority of a reporter, yet the edge was taken off by her bubbly Vale-Voice. I grimaced at her image on the screen, she had way too much perkiness this early in the morning.

"Well Miss Vale, as you know, the Joker was on another one of his schemes tonight. He was planning on setting off bombs all over Gotham, at every hour starting at 5 this coming morning." Gordon paused and licked his lips.  
"but as you can see, we all are still an explosion free Gotham, thanks to Batman."

"So, commissioner, what you're telling me- correct me if I'm wrong- Is Gotham finally safe from the grasps of the Joker?" I gaped at the tv screen. Joker, that is the next person that I would be treating and I was entirely ecstatic at the thought.

I jumped out of bed, not bothering to listen to commissioner Gordon's Gotham-city-is-now-safe-because-of-Batman speech. I was in too much of an electric mood to sit still.  
I ran over to the closet and grabbed my red dress- the one I always wore to meet new clients-, my doctor's coat, and my only pair of heels- a pair of black stilettos.

Clothes and shoes in hand, I forced myself to walk calmly to the bathroom. As I entered I was greeted by the signature Harley messy morning hair, I sighed and took off my pajamas; then I hopped in the shower.

A few minutes later when I was finished in the shower, I wiped away the steam on the mirror. Now I could see the real length of my hair, and not just whatever blonde frizziness bed head wanted to present me. I took out my drier and started to dry out the water, the familiar hum of the hot air was soothing to my electric nerves.

When my hair was finally dry, I took bobby pins and shoved it into a bun. I  
dressed and walked out into my living area. I spotted a piece if paper on the  
red front door. I slowly walk over to it, forcing myself to be calm.

I see writing on the paper, it's in the handwriting of my fiancé, Jack Ryder.

Harley,  
I had to dash out to do a all-inclusive report on the Joker. I don't know if this is just rumor, or actual fact; but the news is, is that you are going to be the madman's psychiatrist. I hope its true, I know it's been a dream of yours to evaluate the nutcase. All joking aside, I love you, and please be safe, if it is you treating him.  
Jack

I sigh. Jack knows me inside and out, I do love him.

Vrrr vrrr, vrrr vrrr, I can feel my phone buzzing in my pocket again. I pull it out once more and see that, again, the asylum calling me. I sigh again and hit the green answer button once more.

Before I could get even a "hello" in, I hear the husky whisper of a familiar stranger.

"Doctor Quinzel. I am aware of the late hour, but the Joker is getting impatient."

"B-batman?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes. Now; I will be in my Batmobile in front of your apartment in 10 minutes if you are still interested in treating Joker. Do you understand?"

"uhum.. Yes, yes sir. I would very much like to treat the Joker. I will be seeing you in 10 minutes then." I could barely believe I was talking to the dark knight himself, let alone that I would be getting in his famous car in less than ten minutes. Wait... ten minutes?

I hear the line go dead. Well, I guess that there will be at least one person speeding through all of Gotham tonight. I push the air out of my lungs and suck back in a deep breath, well I guess I better go and find a jacket.


	2. Chapter 2

*Joker*

I sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat. The clock was ticking slowly on. Like a metronome, slowly pacing off the beats to my impending doom.

I was bored, so to entertain the sadistic mind that I have, I flexed each section of muscles slowly. Taking inventory of my new injuries.

I started with my left leg, extending it out in front of me while I was seated. I pointed my toe, like one of those ridiculous ballerinas, and there it was; my left ankle was broken for sure. I slowly worked up my left side categorizing my two broken ribs and sprained wrist, along with the broken ankle. Then I moved onto my right side, immediately felt my broken wrist and previously dislocated shoulder.  
Batsy sure knew how to make a guy feel special, I roll my eyes in the darkness.

When is that damn doctor getting here? I flicked my broken wrist trying-and succeeding- to feel pain, not boredom. I rested my head in the cool metal table, still continuously flicking my wrist.

Bing-bong. I snapped my head up

"R-r-riddle me this, batm-m-m-man! Which little Arkham siren lov-" the Riddler's rant was cut off abruptly, I heard a little scuffle before the Asylum's intercom system was turned off. Oh, E, you little computer-hacker-genius, you.

Bing-bong. I rolled my eyes. Of course, damage control.

"Hello Arkham patients, I apologize for Mr. Edward Nigma's actions, I will be holding a group therapy in 15 minutes for those of you, who were severely affected. Thank you for your time" I sighed out of exasperation as I listened to the slow British monotone of Hugo Strange. That man isn't just a psychiatrist, he is psyco himself. I'm surprised that ole Quincy Sharp has kept him around this long. That crazy bastard tests electro-shock therapy on animals. Sick.

Jeez it was hot in here. I slid off my purple and yellow pinstripe coat and draped it over the back of the chair. I pulled gently at each finger of my purple-dyed leather gloves, and tucked them both in my left pocket.

I jumped out of my chair and paced in circles around the table. My left ankle sent delightful cuts of pain up my spinal cord. I started to flick my wrist again. The two actions together, canceled out all of the other little tweaks of pain everywhere else in my body.

Ha! This was a fun game! See how much pain the brain can take before canceling them all out. This was a very fun game. I'd have to play this with some of my henchmen sometime. I smiled darkly.

I hear the click of heels on the polished tile outside of my interrogation room. Maybe it was the damn doctor finally.  
I stop pacing and went and sat like a good little boy. I slid my gloves and jacket on, dress to impress my mother always told me.

Sure enough, moments after I slipped on my gloves there she was. Doctor H. Quinzel.

She was stunning, really. Her hair was sunny blonde and put back into a bun, her red dress under her doctor's coat scooped at her neckline perfectly, her heels were probably only 3 inches at the most, and that hardly helped with her height situation, barefoot she probably only stood at 5' 6"- 5'7". Her blue eyes were twinkly and wet-looking, though I couldn't believe that she'd been crying... Her swimming pool-like eyes were full of untold emotion. This girl before me was all too beautiful, all to emotional, and all to young for me to play my mind games with. I knew exactly what to say to break her... But suddenly I didn't want for this child presented to me to be broken the moment I just got her. No, I would make her believe we were getting somewhere, and then, I'd use my mind tricks to get to her.

I tilted my head back, looking from her, to the ceiling, and then back.

I smiled and chuckled low in my throat.

"Heya, doll-face, the name's Joker." she jumped a little at the sound of my gravelly voice cutting through the silence like one of my confiscated pocketknives.

I arched an eyebrow at her,  
"Well, now that you know who I am, tell me. Who are you?" I leaned forward in my chair, putting my chin in my hands, and set my green eyes ablaze with false interest. This was just going to be too easy. It was almost a joke! Ha!


	3. Chapter 3

*Joker*

The doe-eyed doctor-child gaped at me.  
I wondered idly what she would look like with white face paint over her  
porcelain skin.

Stop. No.

I sit back in my chair and tap my toe.

"I'm a-waitin' dollface." I arch my eyebrow again, I made my eyes dark and cold. I was tired of this game already. I only put the effort into warmth because she was pleasing me with her wonderful dumbfoundedness. But now, I shook my head internally. This may not be worth the effort after all.

"Mister Joker, my name is Doctor H. Quinzel. I am here to help you," she sauntered over to the table and slammed her hands down on the table...

Ooh, kitty got claws.

"and it would be a heluva lot easier without your incessant toe-tapping!" I looked down from her icy blue stare and to my lap, I internally shook myself, I had stopped tapping my toe.

Why?

I looked up at the doctor through my eyelashes, and grinned. Seems like this was going to be fun after all. I sighed and then looked her full on.

"Listen sweet-ums-"

"Doctor Quinzle." she insisted.

"Dollface-"

"Doctor Harley Quinzle." that name. Why did I know it? It wasn't until she had put it like that, that I had remembered the spark.

"Harley Davidson." I leaned back in my chair tipping in onto two legs, kicked my feet up, and grinned.  
The movement surprised her and she stood up and glared at me. This Harlequin, was very good. Bratty, but mostly hilarious. I just grinned and laughed.

"You find me funny, mister Joker?" she growled at me.

"Well, actually little harlequin-"

"For f**ks sake, mister Joker!" My green eyes widened. Ohmygod did this little innocent just swear at me?  
I leaned my chair foreword and put my feet back down on the ground.

"Well little harlequin, if you would let me finish one goddamn sentence, then maybe we would be getting somewhere past the introductions." I quipped at her.

Look at me! All electric nerves and swingy stomach.

What was this little Gotham City siren doing to me?

"Fine. Please go on." she crossed her arms at me and started to tap her own toe.  
What a little minx!

"Well then, firsts thing first, little Harlequin, don't you think 'Mister Joker' is too serious of a name for me? I mean, look at me!" I gestured my hands from my face, which was slathered in face paint, then slowly down my slender form, clad in a purple with yellow pinstripe suit, green vest and purple dress shirt.

"And secondly, I do love your name, it makes me smile, it makes me think... Sidekick." my lips twitched involentariely at the corners.

What the hell?

She rolled her eyes at me.

"Alright then, what would you like me to call you? Becaiuse I obviously can't make you call me DOCTOR Quinzle." she smirked at me with false exasperation, I could see it in her swimming-blue eyes that she liked this game as much as I did.

"Well, why don't you tag me with a name that you actually like? Hmm? I've chosen you as my Harlequin, so what am I to you, doc?" that really hit a nerve. She bristled.

Yep, I pissed her off, but it was so damn funny to see her angry that I could barely keep my composure.

"Mistah J. You are nothing to me. You are, at the highest point, just a patient. Nothing more." she turned away from me and deliciously swung her hips as she sauntered away towards the door.

No, please, no.

"Awwh, and I thought we were getting somewhere. Where ya goin' little doc?" I got up from my chair and slid to sit indian-style on top of the table. She turned back to me with fire in her eyes.

Something deep in those swimming pool eyes, I recognized. And her being mad at me, only made the little spark grow larger, into a fire, a blaze. Deliciously uncontrollable, radically haunting.

She stomped her way back to me and poked her finger to my chest.

Good god, does this child know all my buttons?

"Let me clarify some things Mistah J. Number one: I'm not 'your' anything, you do not hold any part of me." she put out two fingers now to my chest.

"Number two: we are not friends." three fingers now.

"Number three: I. Am. Your. Therapist. " four fingers.

"And number four: you think you got all the power, don't ya? Well news flash buddy. Ya don't. I'll be seeing ya in the morning." she flattened out her palm to my chest and closed her eyes for but a moment and sighed-

Did I imagine it? I wished I didn't.

She took her palm off my chest and walked away from me again.

Please.

I saw the reflection of something in the two-sided mirror, as the doctor, my little Harlequin, left. I saw something I had never seen on a woman in more than 10 years. A rose-pink blush, and that's when lightning struck right in the deepest pit of my black heart. I knew this girl. I once loved this girl.

And now,

It's. All. Coming. Back


	4. Chapter 4

%Harley Quinn%

I was exhausted. Mentally, physically, exhausted. I drug my feet across the  
floor heavily. Who knew that a 20 minute conversation could be so damn tiring. I  
huffed the air out of my lungs, and pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was  
3:46 AM. My real job started in less than 2 hours.

My real job, of course, being a psychologist. Every day. 5 AM to 12 PM. If that's what you could really call doing mind-numbing paperwork... damn internship...

My heels clicked on the polished white tile floor, the bare white walls and high  
ceiling made the noise echo all around me.

Click, click, click... My mind began to wander as I walked slowly down the blank  
corridor.

My mind backtracked to earlier this crazy morning, and to my strange first  
encounter with Batman.

~ (begin flashback)

I pulled out my phone once more, it was 1:48 already, that damn Batman said he'd  
be here by now. I paced back an forth in front of my apartment, fervently  
rubbing my hands together. Even though it was only just the beginning of  
October, it felt like below thirty degrees.

I stopped pacing and fiercely crossed my hands over my chest. Fifteen minutes is  
not ten, batman.

I heard the click of heels walking towards me, it was difficult to see in the  
darkness, especially without my glasses on.

I squinted.

"Who's there?" I asked at the darkness, the clicking heels stopped.

"'Oo's thr yerslllf?" I heard a woman slur. Her voice was low and seductive,  
even though she was obviously drunk.

I shifted my weight to my right foot, preparing to launch myself into the street  
if need be it.

"Ehh I knowh ooh ya arre, yer Harleen Quinz-el, psy-kii-ehh-trist  
extrooh-din-air." the slender form of Selena Kyle, my best friend, appeared in  
front to me, I could finally see her eyes, the ones so green you could almost  
swear she was half-cat. She curtsied in front of me- well she tried to but  
failed miserably, she stumbled and I ended up having to grab her by the waist  
before she could face-plant onto the dirty pavement.

"I swear to the lord Selina, get a couple of drinks in you and you are hangin'  
as loose as a moose." I giggled at her.

"Ehh waddya knowh? Looks like yeh've got meh alllll figyered out doctah  
Quinz-el." she nodded her head, her shoulder length black hair was swinging all  
around her face. I don't think she even noticed.

"Alrightie, Sully let's get you home." I held onto her waist and draped her  
right arm over my shoulders. I carefully turned Selena around to walk her up my  
apartment steps.

SCREEEEECH! I heard the pealing noise of a speeding car hitting it's breaks.

Selina whipped her head around.

"Wass'at?" she said brilliantly.

I rolled my eyes at her, looks like the batmobile finally arrived.

I turned away from the slick looking car and to my inebriated best friend. I  
firmly placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Selina. I want you to sit on these steps while I talk to Batman. 'Kay?" her  
eyes were glosses over with- what I like to call- alcohol goggles. She lazily  
nodded her head, and walked over to the steps, stumbling often. I smirked at  
her.

"Is your friend going to be alright?" his voice startled me, I snapped my head  
around toward him.

"Oh, I think so. She just needs her drunk ass dragged home." my eyes went wide.  
Did I just honestly cuss in the presence of the Dark Night himself?

He chuckled.

"Would you like her to ride with us? If I'm not mistaken, that is Selina Kyle?"  
I nodded, I didn't want to know how he knew her.

"and also, if I am not mistaken her apartment is not far from the Solomon-Wayne  
courthouse over in East Arkham?" I nodded again. Yes. That is exactly where she  
lived.

The Dark Knight looked at me in the eyes, I think I actually detected a twinkle  
of humor in the piercing blue orbs.

His lips twitched at the corners.

"I've had to escort miss Kyle's- how did you put it?- drunk ass home more than  
once in my life. It seems you have also." I did the only rational thing in this  
situation- I bust out laughing. I felt tears well up because I was laughing so  
hard- it hurt!

"I'm s-s-sorry Batman!" I manage to hiccup that out between the mad giggles.

"Quite alright, Doctor." he quipped, I think I may have bruised his ego.

He stepped around me, his liquid looking cape fluttered in the wind. I saw him  
kneel on one knee in front of Selina.

Batman shook her shoulder gently- but just hard enough to make her jolt upright  
from her slumped position on the front steps.

Batman erected himself quickly and caught her shoulders before she could topple  
sideways.

"Steady, Selina."

"Who-" Selina's almond shaped green eyes opened to the size of tennis balls.  
Looks like someone's sobered up.

"Batman! What? How?" she leaned her head sideways and looked behind Batman's  
domineering stance, searching- and finding, me. I gave her a small wave. She  
stepped herself out of Batman's grasp and put her finger to the corner of her  
mouth.

"Ooh, a's right. The Joker was caught t'night... I was in the middle of  
celebrating, when I remember hearing yer name, Harls- I came to celebrate with  
you when..." she trailed off, looking down to the pavement, I don't think she  
remembered much else.

"When you actually found me! Sully, you stumbled out of the alleyway  
half-asleep. I'm glad you made it all the way here." I gave her an encouraging  
smile. She just kept her head down and blushed scarlet. Aww! Sully likes Batman!  
I'd have to save the teasing for later, though.

"It's quite alright, miss Selina." Batman put his hand under her chin and tilted  
it up. She blushed an even deeper shade of scarlet.

"Well, we really must be in our way, don't you agree, Batman?"

He turned his head and nodded to me, within the same movement he dropped his  
hand from Selina's chin.

We loaded Selina into the nonexistent back seat, between gadgets she was  
instructed not to touch. It was a good thing she was skinny, I thought.

~ (end flashback)

I snapped out of my reverie. It seems that my subconscious has flawlessly  
directed me all the way to my office.

Key, key, key... I searched my pockets, nada por nada.

"Daaaaaaaammmmmmniiiiit!" I whisper-yelled. I stomped my feet and whacked my  
head against the door. Ouch. Why did I do that.

"Excuse me?" I whipped around.

Brown hair. Brown eyes. Sour looking face. I smirked. Looks like I've been found  
by Doctor not-so-Young.

"S-s-sorry Doctor Young... I didn't mean t-" she held up her hand signing me to  
stop talking.

"It's quite alright, Harleen." she gave me a small, sweet smile. Huh, either  
it's my extreme lack of sleep that is making me curse like a sailor, or I am  
just finally going crazy. I felt terrible now for my brain's snarky comment.

"Call me Harley, everyone does." I tried to smile, but all I could really muster  
up was a smirk.

"Well Harley, are you excited to finally be getting your whack at dealing with a  
real psychotic? I read in your file back when you applied to intern here, that  
it was always a dream of yours to analyze that insane clown prince of crime."

" Well, Doctor Young, I have to say that I've always had a thing for extreme  
personalities, and besides, you've gotta admit there is a certain element of  
glamor to treating these super-criminals."

"Well I can drink to that. But I do have to warn you, Harley." Doctor Young's  
voice went a little lower.

"As you saw today, with Joker, most of those glamorous super-criminals that you  
want badly to treat, to help even, would rather kill you than talk to you." she  
used hushed tones. I couldn't speak, this was shocking news that couldn't be  
denied, so I just nodded my head.

Doctor Young looked pleased that I was taking her comment to heart. She nodded  
at me and gave an encouraging motherly smile.

" Well Harley, I thought I might stop by your office to tell you that Batman has  
cleared off your schedule. No more mind-numbing paperwork for you. He told  
Director Sharp himself that he wanted all of your focus to be on Joker. Does  
that sound good to you?" I perked up.

"Yes! Oh, lord yes. I am very excited to be "moving up in the world" as clichés  
would put it." I smiled and shook Doctor Young's hand.

We each turned to walk out separate ways, I was feeling inwardly and outwardly  
confident. I threw my shoulders back and sucked in my stomach. This was gonna be  
a good thing.

I heard the slap of sandals against the tile floor, running towards me. My head  
twitched over my shoulder and saw Doctor Young coming at me.

"What is it Doctor?" I questioned.

"Well- I just remembered that I had a question for you- do you mind if I ask you  
something personal?" she sounded a little out of breath.

"No, go ahead." I was puzzled.

"Why did it bother you so much that he called you harlequin?" I felt my pulse  
quicken. I knew she was referring to how he simply wouldn't stop calling me  
'his' harlequin, and how it just bugged me so damn much.

I sighed- I was doing that an awful lot tonight.

"Well, Doctor- when I was young I had a friend- he always called me harlequin,  
at first I hated it, but then, after I decided that I actually had fallen in  
love with him, it became an endearment and it made me feel special- safe. But  
having that name said to me again on the lips of a madman- I couldn't handle  
it." I felt the sting of tears- I clenched my teeth and forced them away.  
Therapists can't have weaknesses. It's too dangerous.

The Doctor nodded.

"I see. And this young boyfriend of yours- whatever happened to him?"

"He moved away." I lied. I can't remember most of my early years in life. The  
only reason I can remember that little bit about the boy and him calling me  
harlequin, was because I found one of my old journals once.

I blink and haunting green eyes- Joker's eyes- appear side-by-side with the green eyes of my beloved Jack Ryder.

_Something's wrong! _Part of my subconscious screams at me. I shrug the feeling off. I frankly didn't care if I couldn't remember whatever trauma caused me to forget.

Only three people mattered- Selina, Jack, and Me. and I can remember them just fine, so I should be fine.

A spark in my brain remembered that, amongst the pages that were either torn out, colored  
all red and black, or had random entries on them of my old childhood Journal; I found a letter addressed to  
my future self.

April 3, 1994

Dear Harley! (look at 20 years from now! No cheatin!)

Today was amazing. He kissed us again. If you still know who he is MARRY HIM!

I commandeth you!

Remember, we crosse our hearts that we would get married. He'd kill us if he if  
he found out that we promised ourselves would have Babies! I think he would  
literally flip out. But fer now I am fine (very, very fine) with kissing 3.  
-Harley Quinzel, 7

Him. Who the hell was HE? Why couldn't I remember definitively my first kisses? Why is the only "J" that I can place is Jack?

I'd have to talk to Selina later about our childhood. We never did talk much ablot it- I knew it hut her to think about it, she had just as hard of an upbringing as I did.

Doctor Young's voice snapped me out of my rambling thoughts.

"Oh, well... Just be careful with your reactions next time. Those psychotics  
will jump at any little hole in your confidence that the see. Have a nice  
morning, Doctor Quinn." with that Doctor Young turned in her sandal-clad heel  
and was walking away from me.

I smiled, internally shaking away my troubling memories, and thought of the  
upcoming day. I resolved to eat breakfast with Jack, I needed him before I could  
even begin to think about the psychotic clown prince of crime, waiting for me in  
the dark interview room here, at Arkham Asylum.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

+Batman/Bruce Wayne+

I watched her, as she walk away slowly. I pressed the little silver button on  
the forearm of my batsuit.

"Yes, Master Bruce?" I heard the kindly voice of my butler say.

"Hello, Alfred. Did you receive an audio file ping? I just sent it to the  
batcomputer moments ago." I let go of the phone sensor, just under my left bat  
ear.

"I'll have to go and check. Is there anything else you wish me to do, Master  
Bruce?"

"I need you to find everything you can on a woman named Harleen Quinzel, she's  
about five-foot-six, one hundred and thirty pounds, blonde hair with blue eyes.  
You got that Alfred?" I again release the sensor.

"Yes, I will have all the information sent to the batmobile within, I'd say,  
about 20 minutes."

"Thank you, Alfred."

I stepped out of the small alcove, and into the light.


	5. Chapter 5

+Batman/Bruce Wayne+

9 hours earlier

It was quarter to six, when my iPhone began to ring. I stopped tapping the keys  
on my computer's keyboard to pull it out of my vest's pocket.

A friendly smiling face was pictured on the screen, the photo was tagged to  
Barbara Gordon's contact.

I smiled as I pressed the answer button, she was quite the excited little thing.

"Hello Barbara are y-" a blood curtailing scream cut me off. This wasn't right.

"Bruce! Bruce, he shot me! I don't know how he found me, but he did and he shot  
me! I can't move my legs, Bruce!" Barbara yelled into the phone through sobs of  
fear.

"What happened?!" I growled into the receiver. I jumped up from my chair,  
grabbing my suit jacket, and ran out of my office executive office.

"I-I don't know Bruce! But I remember I was making Dad a peach cobbler for his  
housewarming party tonight. It was gonna be an apology for not being there-  
because we were going to get Joker. The. My doorbell rang, and Bruce, it was  
him! I swear to god! He looked like a tourist but he had those awful scars and  
the scary green eyes of his! He shot me Bruce! The blood it's everywhere!" she  
was sobbing into the phone line. She was scared for her life. You could hear it.

By this point I was already down to the basement parking lot, sprinting to my  
jet black Lamborghini.

"Barbara, you have to let me put you on hold. I am going to call your father and  
get an ambulance to you." I tried to speak calmly, but all I could coax my voice  
to do was growl. He found her. He found her and shot her. I was in a rage. I was  
going to find that madman and put him straight in Arkham asylum. Even I had to  
drag him there myself.

"Bruce, I'm scared. I have never felt this much pain before. I can barely hold  
on, am I gonna die?" she wasn't shouting anymore. But her voice, the once  
beautiful tinkling bell-voice, was now hoarse and cracked with agony and pure  
fear.

"You are going to live Barbara, but you have to let me go. I need to tell your  
father. Please, please stay on the line." I pleaded to her.

"I will Bruce." she was sounding weaker and weaker by the second.

"Thank you." I pulled the phone. From my ear and tapped the screen a few times,  
seamlessly directing it to call Commissioner James Gordon.

"Gordon." his husky voice called out from the other end.

"Commissioner. This is Bruce Wayne. Your daughter has been shot." right to the  
point. She needed help quickly.

"What?!" he roared.

"I'm sorry, but your daughter needs medical attention immediately. She was shot  
at her residence. I suggest you get there as soon as possible." I heard Gordon  
barking orders to other officers.

"I'm on my way. Thank you Mister Wayne." the line went dead.

I switched the line back to Barbara. I looked at my surroundings outside the car  
windows. I was getting close to suburban Gotham.

"Barbara, are you still here?" I spoke softly.

"Bruce... The pain is gone, I-I feel all warm and everything is... Fuzzy  
looking..." her voice was no more than a breathy whisper. I knew she wouldn't  
last much longer.

"I'm almost there. Please hold on, hold on for your father- please hold on for  
me." I pleaded to her.

"I-I'll hold on f-for you Bruce." she sighed.

"Thank you. Just keep thinking of happy things." two more blocks.

"Okay, like... Puppies and kittens... Mmmm... And Thai food." Her words were  
slightly slurred and again they were getting quieter.

That's when I pulled up in front of her house. Everything was right- except for  
the front door that was hanging off it's edges, and the blood painting of a bat  
across the shingled facade of the house. He had written a message inside the  
bat's outline:

I found your girlfriend BATSY! You should really hide the people you love  
better. Ha ha ha ha!

I roughly opened my car door and ran down the path to Barbara.

The next think I saw I was not prepared for. I fell to my knees. This was simply  
too much for my mind to handle.  
~ (end of the flashback)

I shook my head. I was torturing myself. I couldn't focus on her right now. I  
had other jobs in mind.

I walked down the blank corridor, carefully looking at the Names printed in  
black, on each door.

There it was. Doctor Elane Glenn. I jiggled the golden orb that was the door  
handle. Of course. Locked.

My job was never easy. I huffed, I didn't like breaking and entering unless  
completely necessary. At the moment it didn't seem pertinent.

I taped the little black button on my right shoulder, my detective vision was  
activated.

I turned the little dial on my right forearm until the detective vision was set  
to detect metal.

There it was. On the top moulding of the door jam there was a little metal key.  
I reached my hand up to grab it. Sure enough my, my gloved hand met metal.

It easily slipped into the lock, and I could see the little metal mechanisms  
moving and unlatching inside the lock.

Click.

I took the key out and put it back on the door jam. I clicked the button on my  
right shoulder again, turning the detective specs off. I turned the golden orb  
of a door handle, and entered the office of Elaine Glenn, recently deceased, and  
previous therapist of the Joker.

••••••••••  
%Harley Quinn%

"Heya Harley." Jack's voice sounded in my ear. I had placed a phone call to him,  
hoping desperately that he would answer. I smiled easily as I realized that of  
course he would answer. It was me after all.

"Hey Jack. How has your morning been?" I swayed in my chair, I was feeling much  
better just knowing he was on the other line.

"Eventful, to say the least. Joker being captured finally really had put  
everyone up in a riot." I could hear his big stupid grin though the phone. Oh  
Jack.

"That's so great! Anyway, I was wondering if you would pick me up at the Asylum,  
and we could go to breakfast?" I hoped.

"Of course, Harls. I'll be by in half an hour." now that was an appropriate time  
frame to get from Gotham City to Arkham Island.

"Okay, Jack. I love you!"

"I love you, too Harls. Always."

"And Always." we were a cheesy couple. A cheesy couple all too obsessed with  
Harry Potter.

I slid the phone back into my pocket, and heard it make contact with something  
metal.

What?

I fished my hand around and my fingers met metal. I pulled it out.

It. Was. That. Damn. Key.

I stood up, and marched down the blank corridor again. I finally came upon my  
office door and thrust the key in, and angrily turned the knob.

I burst through the door and looked around at the normal disorganized array of  
papers that were simply everywhere.

Something was wrong though. I felt like I was being watched- well of course I  
was. There were surveillance cameras everywhere. I shrugged the feeling off.

Walked over to my big built in cabinet, and opened the doors wide, I then  
stepped away to wake my computer on my desk up. I needed to get a file started  
on my brand new patient. I figured that half an hour on the Arkham Asylum  
database, and google would be good for me to use to my advantage. I walked back  
over to the cabinet to grab a notepad and a Manila folder.

My eyes widened and I did a double take. Inside the cabinet, stood proudly, a  
translucent red vase, with a single black rose in the water. Tied to the stem  
was a small faded photograph.

I shakily reached my hand out to the vase, and picked it up.

I transferred it to my desk and sat in my chair. I opened the drawr on the left  
side and fished my hand around in it until I found my glasses.

I quickly slid them on, and pulled the flower out of the water to look at the  
picture.

I gasped again. This time it was more audible. I felt my eyes sting with tears.

The picture was just this-

A smiling girl, with sea blue eyes and blonde hair, and a boy with meschecious  
green eyes and ash blonde hair. Their faces were squished together, but it  
hardly looked uncomfortable. They looked genuinely happy. And for a single  
moment- so did I. But that was before the emotion was replaced by anger and  
frustration. I knew those eyes, I knew I loved them, but I couldn't match it  
with a name. Hell, I couldn't even match it with a memory.

Green eyes seemed to haunt my every waking hour. _These _green eyes haunted me.

I squinted. Written in the white space of the polaroid, we're 4 lines of text:

Inside my heart is breaking...  
My makeup may be flaking...  
But my smile still stays on...  
~Mistah J

"What the HELL." I bared by teeth. This was either a sick joke... No. This had  
to be just that. The man's MO in it's entirety was sick practical jokes.


	6. Chapter 6

#Selina Kyle/Catwoman#

Rooftops. Why is is that I always end up on rooftops?

I was sitting on the glass paneling of the skylight above my apartment, blanket wrapped forcefully around me, iPod music blaring in my ears.

I didn't want to think, because if I did, I knew it would be some girl-ish fantasy about me and tall, brooding, and handsom.

I felt my stomach pang as the song changed to Elvis' I can't help falling in love with you.

What was this? The fourth or fifth time that he has had to drag my drunk ass home? I certainly couldn't be that attractive to him, nobody could be that attractive to anyone if they were to be seen drunk.

_Like a river flow surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. _I heard Elvis' beauiful, lamenting voice echo my feelings. I sighed.

"Yeah, right." I said aloud. My Bruce and I were not meant to be. I took the iPod out of my pocket to switch it to the next song- but turned it off- I didn't feel like music was working for me anymore.

I stood up, no longer wanting to face my feelings up front. I was going to have a nice long swig of Jack Daniel's and then go to bed.

I jumped stiffly from the roof to the metal grating of the fire escape, slid down the skinny metal latter, and pounced through the window to my apartment; I landed effortlessly in a crouch, as I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Someone was in my apartment.

I bristled, and turned myself around to face the adversary. I felt lightheaded, but I am usually pretty good at holding my alcohol. This wasn't my first time fighting while intoxicated.

"For hell's sake, kitty, cool your jets. It's only me." I put my hand up to cover up Red's overexposed body, lounging on my dining room table.

"Red- it's, uh, nice to see you... Why, pray-tell, are you naked on my dining table?"

"Kitty, you know I hate wearing clothes. I hate feeling like I am wearing the dead shells of once-living plant life. And besides, if I'm more plant than meat-sack anyway, why bother with stupid human vanities?"

"Oh, shut up, Red. You don't need to sell me that crap. We all know the real reason you refuse to wear clothes- its because you're sexy and you know it... And you ain't afraid to show it."

"Well Selina, it seems like your mostly-intoxicated state has made you start to talk in song lyrics. Would you like me to help you?" Red extended a green, vine-covered hand to me.

"I'll let you remove my toxins, only if you cover up." my hand-censor was beginning to hurt from being at such a strange angle.

"Fine. Where is your wardrobe? You and I are about the same size, yes?" I nodded and pointed over to the bedroom area, thankful that "Eve" was finally putting some clothes on.

I relaxed my tense muscles and forced myself to sit calmly until Red came out of my bedroom.

My door creaked as she pushed it open and walked out into the living area. My eyes felt like they were bugging out of my head- Poison Ivy, plant-human hybrid, was actually a normal skin tone; rather than her normal green, vine-covered, completion.

"What happened to your skin, Red?"

"Nothing, you only see it in a normal flesh-tone because I am wearing human clothes, and not my usual vine coverings." she smirked and walked over to me.

She was wearing my second favorite pair of jeans, as I was wearing my favorites, they looked pretty good on her- the dark denim paired with my favorite white and black sweater made her look like a gender-bent version of John Watson, with red hair. Red wasn't wearing any shoes, and her toes were painted in a green leafy pattern.

"I approve," I smiled at her and let her have my hand.

She closed her eyes and began... Glowing...

"Red, why in the-" I suddenly felt better. There was no clouding in my brain, and I could see things properly. No alcohol goggles for Selina anymore.

"Thanks, Red!" I pulled my hand out of hers an wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

"No problem, Kitty." She hugged me back.

"I have a question for you, Selina." She dropped her arms from around my waist and backed away from me.

"Yes, Pammy?" I usually got asked funny questions from Red after she cleanses my toxins.

"Do you have a real love life? Like I mean a real one, we're talking serious boyfriend." She looked down from my gaze. I think she was embarrassed she had to ask this question.

"Well- you know I am frequently on and off with Batman. Why?" I wished we were more on than off. I wish I had enough damned courage to go up to his castle-of-a-house and just tell him my feelings.

"Well. I just was wondering because your toxins were carrying a heavy amount of- well- in simplest terms, they were screaming at me that you need a boyfriend." Red looked at me in a "poor you" way.

"Well, we all know your relationship with Eddie is perfect. But not everyone can be so lucky. Bats an I- well it's complicated. Okay? Lets just drop the subject." I shuffled away from her, and sat on my couch.

"I think I should be going- I promised my babies that I would brighten their auras this morning." Ivy sounded hurt. I didn't blame her. If I was her and she was me, I would hate me too.

"See ya Red. I'll call you later."

"Would you like your clothes back?"

"No. You can keep them until we see each other again."

"Okay, see you Kitty." I looked at Red as she turned away and walked to my front door.

I buried my fists in the white leather sofa as Ivy left. I was so angry with myself.

But she just turned and caught the closing door.

"Kitty, you seem to have another visiter."

"What? Who?" I got up from my place at the couch and walked over to the door.

"Sully!" A blur of blonde hair smacked into me. Harley? She was sobbing into my shoulder.

I widened my eyes at Red, but she just put her hands out in surrender and mouthed "I didn't do it" and walked away.

"Shh, it's okay Harls, what happened?"

"I c-can't tell you." She started sobbing even harder.

"Was it something the psycho said? I'll kill 'em!" I growled.

"No! No, it wasn't him. I promise." She suddenly stepped out of my arms and backed away from me.

"I shouldn't be here. He's probably looking for me. He wouldn't like me being here with you- he's gonna think I told you! Oh god, oh god. I gotta go."

She started to walk away. I lunged and grabbed her wrist- she flinched.

"Ouch! Please let go." She ripped her hand from my grasp and rubbed it with her other.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean to grab you." I hadn't grabbed her that hard at all. I saw her wrist- it was red and looked like a bruise was developing.

"What happened? Tell me Harley." I pleaded.

I looked at her face- it was pinkon the left cheek. Someone had slapped her.

"I already told you! He will be angry if I tell you!" She pleaded me to stop talking with her eyes.

"Fine. But if Jack hurts you again I will find him." I used Ryder's name, knowing that he was the only other man in Harley's life. She would tell me if it was anyone else. It had to be Jack.

"I... Fine. Love you sully. Call you later." She stalked off defeated. She knew my logic wasn't flawed, but hers was. I was going to have to beat the crap outta Ryder if he tried anything funny again, or maybe Catwoman would have to scare him sh*tless for him to get it through his creepy, reporter skull.

I turned on my heel and walked back into my lonely cat-filled apartment, fuming over this whole extremely frustrating night. I could already tell I was going to have a bad day.


	7. Chapter 7

*Joker*

11 years earlier

A younger me runs through a field of wildflowers with the girl of my dreams. Suddenly I fall backwards, she playfully tackled me. I caress her cheek with one of my long hands, and she melts into it, closing her beautiful blue eyes.

I felt my stomach clench nervously, as it always does before I lean in to kiss her. Our lips touch and I feel electricity course through my veins. What is this amazing girl doing to me? I pull away and see her contented smile. She falls back back into the flowers, eyes closed, enjoying the last rays of sunshine before the night sets in.

"Harley?" I could hear the nervousness plainly in my own voice.

"Yes, J?" She opened her eyes, the sun glinted off them like sapphires.

"Once in a couple of years, when I'm eighteen - would you run away with me?" I felt my breath hitch in my throat. Please say yes.

She started to giggle, and I sighed a lamentable sigh. I loved the sound, but I as afraid that it meant no.

"Oh Jason, you are so silly." She said breathlessly.

"Hate that name." I grumbled.

"Doesn't change it from being yours. And yes, J."

"Yes to what?"

"Running away with you, silly. But you already knew the answer was yes."

"No I didn't."

She flipped over and straddled my stomach, pinning me to the ground.

"You lie so bad. You had to know the answer was yes, you already asked me this question when we were kids. I said yes then, so why in the world would I be saying no now?" She fiercely crushed her lips to mine. Of course. How stupid of me. I felt my lips hook in a smile, of course she would say yes.

I sit up holding her arms so I wouldn't break the kiss, she threw her arms around me clinging to me, as if I would ever leave.

"I love you." I heard myself murmur against her lips. The words escaped my mouth before I could cull them, but I didn't regret saying them.

Harley pulled away from my mouth and moved her hands to cling to trying collar of my shirt.

"Do ya mean it? Do you really love me?" Hopefulness flooded her tone.

"Of course I do. Hmm I rather like the sound of that... 'I do'" I hooked one of my arms around her back and used the other to tap her nose and rest on her shoulder.

"I love you too J. You are my everything, my best friend, my only love, my universe." She bumped foreheads with me, and traced her nose down my jawline.

Oh the things this amazing girl can do to me.

One touch and my heart and skin are on fire.

One word and my whole world is set.

She is the only girl I have loved- and the only one I ever will.

~

I sat in the desolate cell and tried to dam back the sudden flood of memories.

What if she remembered too!

Oh god I couldn't let that happen.

I not only couldn't go back to being like that, but I wouldn't. I won't let myself. Joker suited me well. I was never truly Jason anyway.

If I ever manage to get off this damned island- which I know I will- I am gonna have to start the whole blocking process again. I blocked her out once... I could do it again.

Why did I ever choose her in the first place? Well the answer to that was simple. She lookers like a child. She looked like she could easily be broken, much like my previous therapist. Elaine Glenn. I snorted internally, god was she an easy one to break.

After I escaped Arkham the first time, all it took was a couple of threatening messages on her voice mail and a few cleverly placed red roses to have her hanging from the ceiling of her lonely apartment.

Or maybe its because you were already remembering, a little part of my brain screamed at me.

That could be possible, I mused. Recently I discovered that one of my shoe boxes full of old photographs, that were of me and Harley, had been tipped over onto my makeshift bed and looked through.

None seemed to be missing, but deep in my gut I felt a pang of nervousness wash through me, I knew that some had to be missing.

"Stop it. Just stop it." I tell myself out loud.

I didn't feel like that anymore, hell, I didn't even have feelings anymore.

The cell door swung open and smacked loudly into the metal-plate wall. It was her- the one in my memories, and the one who I call therapist.

"Hello, Mister Joker." Her blue eyes stared at me with such intensity, that they almost glowed.

I was captivated, like a tiny bird caught in a viper's stare.

The next thing I was aware of, was that she was sitting on my lap sideways, clinging to my shoulders, and kissing me like there was no tomorrow.

But, as soon as I open my eyes its all gone. I bury my face in my hands and collapse on the bed.

Damn. I am nuts.


	8. Chapter 8

%Harley Quinn%

I lay in bed, finally back to where it all started.

The phone call that changed my life.

How only five hours could change my life; is a mystery to me.

In hour one; I was encountered by my best friend; stumblingly drunk, and hopelessly in love.

In hour two; I had my first face-to-face encounter with the infamous Batman, and got to ride in his legendary car- if you could even call it a car, I think "super-epic-tank-type-vehicle" is more appropriate of a term than "car".

In hour three; I met my first real crazy person, and also someone that-much to my chagrin- can make me have major emotional pitfalls; and also make me blush like a mad person. The even more insane thing was that- those two scenarios came from the same person

In hour four; I entered my office, much like any other morning, but this time, a gift was awaiting me; but this gift was not one that I liked, nor one that I desired to keep- but a part of me, though small, desperately did wanted to keep it.

Finally, in hour five; I discovered the true demeanour of my fiancée, and I was sure that I didn't like it.

Then, on cue, almost as if he could tell my thoughts had drifted to him, Jack entered the room.

"What do you want." I said, my voice sounded flat and emotionless; which was an excellent representation of how I was feeling on the inside.

"I want you, Harley." He pleaded to me, and he looked at me with puppy-dog eyes. To hell with puppies. Puppies didn't shove around their fiancée.

"You sure have a funny way of showing it, Jack." He strolled casually over to me and reached out to touch my shoulder.

"Don't touch me." I jerked away from his embrace. I didn't like the idea of his slimy hands touching me.

"Please Harley!" He sat on the bed where I used to be and opened his arms. As if I would ever touch him again.

"No, Jack. I can't. No, I won't. I'm packing up some of my things and leaving to go live with Selina for a few weeks." I rolled off of the bed and wrapped my arms tightly around myself.

"Harley, you don't understand. I need you, you keep me sane." Jack pleaded. I whip around to him.

"What did you just say?" That phrase had been said to me before. But who said it? When was it said?

"I said that you keep me sane, Harls. I almost go crazy on a daily basis without you, and I don't want to have to go without you for weeks! Do you have any idea what would happen to me?" He pleaded to me.

I clamped my hands over my ears.

"No! Stop it! You really should have thought about that before hitting me, Jack. That was a damn stupid move. If I really do keep you sane, then you better pray to god that you stay sane while I'm gone; Because I am going to be praying with all of my being that you seriously go insane." I spat at him. You could see the hurt plain on his face. I didn't care, I couldn't risk being with him while he was being this violent. No way in hell would I put my life at risk over a man.

I suddenly hated myself for shoving Selina off. To hell with Jack. Who cares if he knows where I'm going? Who cares if Selina knows that he hurt me?

Because it certainly isn't me.

"Get the hell out of my room Jack. There is nothing you can do you keep me here. Just get out." I pointed to the door, his face broke, and he stiffly got up off of the bed.

"Harley-"

"No! Just get out!" he looked away from me, and quietly ushered himself out of the room.

I slammed the door and locked it. Time to start packing...

*Joker*

Over the next two hours the only thing keeping me sane was counting out the seconds aloud and having my hands clamped firmly over my ears.

Hallucination after hallucination attacked the constraints of whatever shread of sanity I had left.

One that I called "scantily clad Harley" appeared 13 times to flirt with me and twist the ends of her pigtails seductively while biting her bottom lip. She didn't wear much. Lets leave it at that.

9 times, one I like to call "doll Harley" came. She looked much like the real Harley except, instead of her being in a doctor's coat she was in a slutty nurse's outfit,much like the ones that all the girls wear around Halloween time. Her porcelean skin was covered in even whiter facepaint, and around her eyes she wore a black facemask. Her demeanor was that of a schoolteacher, prim and proper, but her actions suggested otherwise. She flounced around the cell like she owned the place. Like she owned me.

And finally, 3 times, "doctor Harley" appeared. Each time she appeared I would unclamp my ears and start talking to her. I would never have known she was a hallucination, but at one point or another in the three conversations she would lean over to me, as if she was expecting me to make a move. Though because I never did kiss her, she would dissapear. Bam, deductive process.

I counted out a whole half of an hour without having any hallucinations. I took my hands off of my ears, and finally relaxed my tensed muscles.

I was looking at the single can light in my cell. What time was it? Probably eight or something. I looked away from the thing knowing that it would be flicking on soon enough.

Ten minutes later the room illuminated, and I looked around my cell. I smirk.

"Hello ladies." Sitting Indian style on the end of my bed SC Harley was chewing bubble gum, D Harley was pacing the room while singing "The Show Must Go On" by the band Queen.

They both acknowledged me with a little wave.

"Where's Dr. Harley? Can't be a complete madhouse party without her." I chuckle. Talking to hallucinations. God, this is a new low-even for me.

"She's on her way." SC Harley responded.

"Of course she is." I sighed. This is just getting rediculous. Actual conversations... with delusions of a madman.

Suddenly the two Harleys dissapeared. My cell's door creaked open.

"Strange, ol'boy! How ya doin?" I jump up from my place on my bed. F*ck. My ankle, I had almost forgot about that.

"Hello, Joker. I am doing fine, thank you, I think the real question is how are you?" His piercing gray eyes were magnified-looking through his round glasses. They seemed to bore straight into my dark and damaged soul.

"I am fiiine. Except my ankle hurts like a mother, and I am pretty damn sure some of my ribs are broken." I drew out the word fine, and put my hands to my hips.

"Batman sure knows how to work quickly, doesn't he?" Hugo Strange smiled.

"Sure does! Especially when he has a motivator!" I laughed outwardly, though it was really more to myself. I was pretty sure that Bats kept the whole "Barbara Gordon" situation under wraps. God, he was such a killjoy.

"Well Joker, I am here to give you medication. I was going to have an orderly do it for me, but I decided that doing it myself would be well received. Am I correct?" Strange quirked up an eyebrow at me.

"Puh-lease. I frankly do not give a damn if you are the head psychiatrist of the universe. I AM NOT. I repeat AM NOT taking any damn medications." Well received my ass. No way in hell was I taking any stupid pills.

"I was afraid you were going to say something like that." Hugo poked his head out of the cell door.

"Excuse me, I think I will be needing your assistance."

Damn! Who's assistance is going be needed?

Hugo stepped out of the way to reveal...

Batman. F*ck.

"Hello, Joker." His tone was angered... to say the least, but somewhere under all the batty-angst there was joy.

"Hiya Bats!" I perked. No need to let him know that I was completely terrified.

Batman turned to Strange,

"Now, what is it that you need me to do?" you could almost see it... a quaint little smirk on Batty's face.

"I just you to manage to get one or all of these pills down his throat, I would really prefer that you get this-" Strange held up a little yellow pill.

"-down and in his system. This is to help the psychosis involved with schizophrenia, it is called Risperdal."

"It is really optional that you get this down-" this time he held up three red-orange pills.

"-these are just three Ibuprofen for the injuries you caused earlier." Hugo chuckled. Sadistic freak.

"Sounds good. You can leave us now, Strange." Bats took the pills from Hugo and he left. Closing the door behind him.

Bats turned to me and smiled.

ohhhhh f*ck I've never seen him smile before.

"I'm not here to administer your medication. I'm here to tell you what's what, Joker." Wait, what?

"Whaddya mean not here to give me pills? I thought Strange said-"

"No matter what Strange said. I am here to warn you to keep a safe distance from Doctor Quinzel."

"HA! Why would you think I would want her? She's of no use to me." I lied quickly. Of course I wanted her. She's the only one I've ever wanted. F*CK! I DON'T WANT HER! What am I thinking?

Batman let out a low chuckle.

"I know you want her. There is no doubt in my mind about it. Why would you be so quick to defend yourself against it if you didn't in fact have feelings for her? Joker, you're loosing your edge." Bats smirked at his small victory. Stupid Bat! He thinks he's got me all figured out, does he?

"Look here Bats, you think you have me all figured out, don't you? Well news flash, you don't. You alone should really know better than assume that one small tick about me can change anything. You of all people should know that I am as predictable as you are... well batty!" I started to laugh at my own joke. I am damn good at playing this game!

Bats suddenly advanced on me, and grabbed me by the gray fabric of my Asylum-issued shirt. He easily lifts up my 170 pound frame from the floor.

"If I can get anything through to you, Joker, let it be this. Stay. Away. From. Harleen." Batsy's blue eyes blazed into my green ones. I tipped my head to the left and winked at him.

"Gottit Bats, now what are you expecting... a kiss?" I hate being told what to do, so I resolved to do the opposite. To hell with trying to avoid Harley. She was sexy and eventually I would get in her head and make everything go my way.

Batman dropped me and took two steps backwards.

"I sincerely hope you are able to get better this time. It really is a shame that your... intellect is wasted on such evil endeavors." I roll my eyes, Bats sure knows how to compliment someone.

"Oh, be assured that I will do everything I can to stay at the exact state of crazy that I am. I rather like it this way." I smirk and sit back down on my bed.

"Fine." Bats turns on his heel and walks to the door.

"OH! Bats! I have a question for you!" I lick my lips, internally bracing myself for what is to come.

Batman pauses.

"What, Joker?" hehe he sounds so annoyed!

"How's your girlfriend doing?" I purse my lips and arch my eyebrows.

In an extremely fluid motion, Batman has turned around grabbed me again by the shirt, and now has me pinned against the cold metal wall.

"WHAT did you just say?" he hisses through his teeth. You could practically feel the pure hatred dripping from each word. I loved this Batman, he was much more fun to play with.

"I just simply asking if your little redheaded girlfriend... what WAS her name? OH YES! Barbara Gordon, I was wondering how she was doing?" I asked again, innocently.

Batman unclasped one hand from my shirt and balled it into a fist, just inches from my face.

"Do it... I dare ya." I spoke quietly while grinning madly,

this was just way too fun!


	9. Chapter 9

%Harley Quinn%

When I reached Selina's apartment with my things, I parked my car in the alleyway; knowing full well that it was illegal, but not caring one bit.

I climbed up the stairwell to the top floor and dropped my suitcase in front of the last door on the right side of the hallway, and rapped three times on the door. Despite the early hour I heard the firmiliar squeak of the floorboards as Selina came to inspect the peephole. I heard a small intake of breath and a the click of the door unlocking.

When the door swung open I saw Selina... with a drastic haircut.

Disregarding the sudden lack of hair atop Selina's head, I rushed myself into her arms and began to cry... not trying so desperately to hold it all together, as I had earlier.

Whilst in her arms I kicked off my heels into her apartment, quickly resolving to change into my pair of white Chuck Taylor's as soon as possible.

We were still standing in her doorway, and I was still sobbing into her shoulder. At this time I couldn't give a single damn to where I was, I was just grateful to have a friend who cared enough for me to be there. To be a shoulder to cry on.

• • • • • • • • • • •

*Joker*

You could practically see the play of emotions across Batman's face, and his electric blue eyes.

Restraint.  
Loathing.

Resentment.  
Fear.

Suddenly Batman drops me and his fist. But instead of alowing me to move, like I thought he would, he but his arm across my shoulers. His trademark ninja spikes that protruded from his forearms were just inches from grazing my chin. From this perspective they looked deadly sharp.

Bats leaned all his weight and his left arm against me and his right hand went to his utility belt to fish around in one of the pockets. Through all of this Batman's gaze never left mine, and I couldn't bring myself to leave it either. Batman suddenly stopped fishing in his pocket and squinted his eyes and smiled once more at me.

God. Two smiles in one day. Holy f*ck.

"Wh-whats up, B-batty?" Damn. Even I could hear the studder in my own voice. Damn nervous studder. Damn genetics. Damn Batman!

"Oh, nothing. Just... this." Batman holds up with his thumb and index finger a little yellow pill- the one Strange called Ridilin.

Before I could hush my emotions I felt my eyes go wide and my pulse quicken.

Batman's hand inched closer to my face, pill still firm in his grasp. Instinctively my left hand flutters at the lack of a pocket in my pants. I close my eyes for a fraction of a second and smirk. I wasn't even wearing my normal clothes. Hell, I didn't even have pockets, so why in God's name would I still have my pocket knife?

I open my eyes as I smack my head back into the wall out of frustratuon.

"Missing something, Joker?" Batman paused his advancing hand and tipped his head a little to the right.

"Nope. I'm just fine." I responded quickly. Too quickly. Dammit!

Batman shrugged his caped shoulders and resumed inching his hand closer to my face- weaponized with the tiny, but menacing, pill.

His hand was now centimeters from my lips. Involuntarily, I clamped them shut, and clenched my teeth together.

"Open up, Joker." Batman growled. I shook my head furiously. No way in hell was I opening up!

"Joker. Open up your mouth now, or, of course you could apologize." What? ME? APOLOGIZE? Did I hit Batman in the head too hard during our last tiff? Again I shook my head furiously, some of my hair fell over my forehead, I wanted to smooth it back- damn me and my stupid curly hair... It never behaved, kinda like me, unruly and couldn't be tamed no matter how much damned hair gel- mouse- whatever you put in it.

"Fine. I'll have to pry your mouth open then." Batman put down his right hand and dropped his dominating gaze- I seized the perfect moment to get away from Batman.

I flexed my biceps and pecks, and shoved hard against Batman. He didn't even budge, but in turn he shoved me harder into the metal wall and my head snapped back into the metal wall, black dots bloomed in my vision. I felt a stabbing pain in my neck, then a pang of metallic taste in the back of my throat.

My knees buckled and I slumped into the embrace of Batman. By this point my eyes regained their vision and I saw Bats stow away an injection needle with the plunger pushed all the way to the end.

If my eyes could have gone wide, I'm sure they would have, Bats sure had some nerve! What the hell did he inject me with anyway? Batman held me up under my arms, and dropped me heavily onto the cot. My head lolled over to the left side, to the wall and away from Bats. How entirely undignified.

"I know you can hear me, Joker. I have Injected you with a small dose of Mivacron. It causes temporary paralysis and possible hypotension. So it would be best of you to cooperate. You will regain movement in your limbs within five minutes, and by that time I want to know weather or not I will be forcibly giving you you medications or if you will be taking them of your own will. Then there is also the option of apologizing. It's all up to you, Joker. You have four minutes to decide."

I couldn't see Batman's face, but you could plainly hear exasperation, frustration, and anger in his deep voice.

What am I to do? I can't take those pills, I can't apologize, and I certainly don't want Batman shoving his hand down my throat. I stared at the wall, not wanting to think about Batman's ultimatum. My breath hitched in my throat... Hypotension... I felt my heart begin to thump unevenly, I couldn't seem to catch my breath... I felt like I was slipping...

Cold, gloved, hands flipped my body over. I stared into the deep blue eyes of my crazy-ass enemy.

"Joker?" His voice was garbled, like he was gargling marbles while he was trying to talk.

"_Joker_!" He thrust me up by the collar of my shirt. I felt heavy and limp. I still could not breathe and my heart was fluttering inside of my chest at a dangerous pace.

I held my bags that contained my few worldly possessions. I looked to see Harley. Tears stained her face as she walked over to me.

"J-Jason. I told myself when this day happened I was not going to cry. Hell I told myself when this day happened we would go together." I pulled Harley into a hug as I stroke her hair.

"My sweet Harley Quinn I will never forget you. Ever. We will write everyday I swear. I love you."

"I-I l-love you t-too." Harley stammered as she falls into another crying fest. Selena comes up and hugs Harley from behind.

"See ya Sir. Don't drive your new family crazy OK?" I laugh and hug Selena who was still hugging Harley.

"I will try my best Kit-Kat." Selena punches me in the arm.

"I am not food."

"Now you know how I feel." That makes Harley smile.

"I really do love you puddin'." I roll my eyes and turn to Miss. Numb, releasing Harley and smile.

"Well you will never have to see me again." Miss. Numb rolls her eyes.

"So I hope." she says.

"I really just hope they wont bring you back because of your problem."

"What problem?"

"You have Marfan's Syndrome. That is why you are so tall. It will shorten your life span too." She shrugs as if this is no big deal. Oh. My. God. Harley was right. Being so tall is bad for me. It is going to kill me. I can't tell her I don't want her to worry. Now that I am leaving she will do nothing but worry.

"What's wrong?" Harley asks staring up at me with those big blue eyes of her's. That girl has got a lot going for her.

"Umm... Nothing. Just thinking about what I will do without you."

"Awww same here."

"I love you." I pull her into another tight hug. I didn't want to let go ever.

"Me to." She said, her face buried in my chest.

How could I tell her? How can I not tell her?

I regain my senses all at once. I am quickly aware that someone's lips are on mine. I keep my eyes closed for a moment and allow myself to fantasize that it is my Harlequin's lips. Then the lips are gone and that's when a large fist slams down on my breast bone.

"BREATHE damn you!" Batman growls. THE HELL? BATMAN?

I sit bolt upright and my eyes snap open.

"What the actual f*ck B-man." My voice was gruffer than usual, like I had been suffering from a cold for several weeks and my head was pounding like a drum. I pulled the sleeve of my shirt over the palm of my hand and rubbed my lips fervently.

"You were dead! I didn't know that you would actually stop breathing! I-I had to do something!" Bats waved his hands around in the air while he was talking, adding emphasis to his words.

"Well what if I was better off dead? Huh?" I crossed my arms forcefully.

"Joker, I don't kill people. And if I think someone needs to stay alive I will help them. You know this." Batman raised his eyebrow at me incredulously.

"Well then, you think I disserve to be alive, then?"

"Of course. You may be mentally unsound right now, but with a little rehabilitation I think you could could be okay. You are young Joker. You still have a chance." Batman frowned at me and twisted his face in confusion.

"Are you crying Joker?"

I uncrossed my arms and ran my long fingers under my eyes, and sure enough they were damp. I balled my hands into fists and rubbed the tears away. What the hell is this?! I haven't cried in almost twelve years. God, all these emotions in one day!

"No..." I looked into Bats' eyes and relented. I huffed out a breath of air.

"Eh, what have I got to loose? Hell yeah I was crying. I just died for a minute, and you kissing me and then punching me in the chest really didn't help. I can estimate that my heart is beating at about 150 paces per minute. And would you like to know something even scarier?" I crossed my legs Indian-style, leaned foreword, and put my elbows on my knees.

"Bats, I am afflicted with something called Marfan's Syndrome. You know what that is?" Batman squinted his eyes and shook his head once.

"Well, it makes my bones weak and makes me abnormally tall. Conveniently everything else about me is enlarged. So that means-"

"Your heart." Batman finishes. I smirk. Batman and I both knew what an enlarged heart meant.

"Exactly." I put my chin in my hands, and close my eyes.

The silence was lengthy. Until I opened my eyes and looked at Batman, I quirked my eyebrow.

"I'm sorry. Okay? So now you don't have to give me my pills and you can leave. I. Am. Sorry. I. Insulted. Your. Girlfriend." I keep my mouth in a hard line and try not to think about the words I've just said. I didn't really mean them, of course. I just want Batman to leave me the hell alone.

"Thank you. And for the record, Barbara is not my girlfriend. She is more of a daughter than anything."

"Hehe sounds like win-cest if you ask me." I giggle. Batman glares at me.

"I-I mean... Well hell, I mean what I mean. I'm not doing anymore apologizing tonight." I give my best I-have-zero-f*cks-to-give look to Batman. He shrugs and turns to leave. But looks over his shoulder at me.

"Have you ever loved, Joker?" He asks.

"What do you think?" I respond dryly.

"Answer for an answer?" Hmm... Intreguing... I'll bite.

"Yes, many, many years ago. And yourself?" I say.

"Yes. And this woman, if she were to see you now... Do you think she would reciprocate these feelings?" My eyes sting. I look down and shut my eyes.

"I already know she dosen't. Now would you leave? I'd like to relish in my insanity alone, if you don't mind."

Silence.

I look up, but Batman has gone.

Theatrical psycho, I think bitterly to myself.

I straiten my spine and begin to rub my temples. All of these ridiculous emotions and memories were giving me a migraine, or maybe it was it was the fact that I was deprived of oxygen for a little more than four minutes; that's gotta do something to you. I decided that it had to be some combination of the two.

I leaned back on my cot and rubbed my face; the white, red, and black colors easily flaking off. The orderlies hadn't even attempted to remove it, which was awfully sweet of them but I didn't have a chance of re-applying it either. So now the face that I had made for myself was now slowly flaking off, attempting to show what was under the mask of insanity; what was behind the wall of laughter and pocket knives. Hell, I didn't even know for sure what was behind there.

But my subconscious had a pretty damn good idea; I thought, as I drifted off into a confusing conglomerate of colors and memories of my Harley Quinn.

I awoke to the sensation of being watched. I turned over and noticed my three girls standing in a line.

SCHarley was brandishing a black cane which was slung over her shoulders smiling devilishly,

DHarley was leaning on a needle of epic proportions with her lips pursed trying to conceal a coy smile,

and Doctor Harley looked as pissed as the fury of hell with her arms folded over her chest tightly. In each fist she held an object, in her left she held a vase with a single black rose, and in her other she held a small square piece of paper. I eyed her outfit- it was different from the other times I had hallucinated her... this time she had on glasses, a white turtleneck, and a pair of black trousers. Her shoes were also different, this time, instead of heels, this hallucination had on a dingy pair of white Chuck's.

"Well, Hello." I said groggily to the three of them. SCHarley and DHarley both shook their heads in synchronization and disappeared. Strange.

"Hello Joker. How was your_ nap_?" Her voice dripped with malice. God, I hadn't seen her apparition but those mere 7 times. I didn't touch her... so why the hell would she be so angry with me?

"Well aren't you angry this time?" I tried in vain to make her smile by laughing. Her eyes just squinted further behind her round glasses.

"Wouldn't _you_ be just a little _irked_ if you found out that you were being _stalked_ by a _crazy_ person?" Again, her voice was just seething with anger- and hatred.

"Oh, darling! Who is stalking you? Hatter? Scarecrow? Zsasz?"

"You! You are stalking me!" Harley stomped over to the side of the bed, put her objects down on the floor beside her, and thrust me up by the collar of my shirt. Such an interactive hallucination!

"Dear, you're going to stretch out the collar of my shirt. Bats has already been tossing me about this day... I can already hear the seams breaking." She curled her lip up and did nothing but stare at me.

"How about we put a smile on that face, sweets?"

In that moment, I acted upon a whim. Already on my knees, being held up by the deceptive strength of the doctor, I wrapped my hands around her wrists and yanked her into a kiss.

• • • • • • • • • • •

%Harley Quinn%

What the hell was going on!

I certainly had no idea. None at all.

I.. just stood there. Eyes wide, on my tiptoes, wrists held tightly- which hurt like hell because of my new bruises there thanks to Jack-, caught in a lip lock with the Joker.

J-just what the hell.

He released my wrists and I backed myself up into the corner of the cell, the only thing keeping me upright was the hard, cold, wall behind me. I was shivering, and I felt tremors lick up my spine like snakes, an unfamiliar emotion causing them. My eyes were so wide that they began to hurt from being in that position for so long. I felt bile raise in my throat and I clamped my hand hard over my mouth to keep myself from vomiting. I was still shaking, now I recognized the feeling running through my veins as hatred. Pure unadulterated hatred. I felt like I was going to split open because I was shaking so hard- it wasn't that delicate cry shaking- no- this was "good god, is that woman vibrating?!" kind of shaking.

The worst part of it all? He was just _kneeling there_, eyes closed, with a ridiculous grin on his lips, which was made even more terrifying with his scars that curved his mouth in a perpetual smile.

_Composure_. I've _got_ to maintain my composure. It was the only thing I had.

.

"_Joker_." My voiced seethed. Yikes. Even to myself I sounded pretty terrifying. I cleared my throat, and tried again.

"Joker." This time I sounded stiff as a board. I could work with this.

His eyes remained closed,

"Shush, doll. You're ruining the moment." I balled my hands into fists. That's IT!

I stomped back over to the madman and without putting another thought to it- I bitch-slapped him right across the face.

His eyes snapped open. Staring wide-eyed at me.

"Um, ouch." He knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. His tone sounded more confused than hurt. He looked down at his hands which were now in his lap.

"Damn right, ouch! What the _hell_ was that?" I poked him in the shoulder.

He didn't respond.

"Um, _excuse me_. Doctor Quinzel here! Talk to me goddamn y-" Joker suddenly poked me in the stomach. His eyes went wide, and then grabbed my right hand, which I promptly ripped away.

"Y-you're real?" His wide eyes looked up into my squinted ones.

"Of course I'm real. What else would I be, a hallucination?" He winced at my tone, and looked down.

"You have no idea how possible that could be."

"Have you been hallucinating? I thought Director Strange gave you your medications at eight!" So, basically right now I was dealing with a fully-functional psychotic. Greaaat.

"He tried. Even got the damn Bat here. That didn't work either... Bats also almost killed me, you should know. Stopped breathing for four minutes." He shifted his position so he was no longer kneeling, but rather sitting with his back up against the wall. He bent his left knee up and wrapped his arms around it, shaking his head.

"Regardless. You have some explaining to do, Joker." I picked up the poloroid from the floor and held it up in front of his face. I was still shaking out of anger, and my hand wouldn't stay still. He looked up.

"Well, sweetheart, I think the real question here is, what the _hell_ you are doing with one of my photographs." Joker snatched the picture away and held it in front of his face. He sighed audibly, almost as if out of relief.

"Probably because you gave it to me, stupid. I think though, the more appropriate question is why do you have a picture of me with Jack?" I was shaking so hard still, so I barely noticed my shudder. Jack and I had been talking about our plans for my birthday, when Jack noticed I had the picture. He asked me why I had been going through his things, I argued that Joker gave it to me. That's when Jack went totally ape-sh*t, telling me that I was a lier, and whore. He kept muttering nonsense about how I shouldn't g through his things and I shouldn't wear dresses that showed my chest. Two totally unrelated subjects, and him refusing to listen to my story, and my refusal to listen to him, if he wouldn't return the courtesy resulted in Jack pulling up to the side of the road. Then dragging me into a dark alleyway and beating me into submission. I only assumed that the picture was him and me, because I am certain I would recognize myself in pictures, and I honestly can't remember anyone else from my past other than Jack and Selina.

"Who is this _Jack_?" Joker sneered Jack's name like it was a disease. I actually felt myself laugh a little. The bastard was a fu*king disease.

"Jack Ryder to be exact, he's my ex-fiancee." Joker tipped his head a little to the right and looked up at me.

"Jack Ryder, as in channel three news anchor Jack Ryder?"

"The very same."

"Hmm, I wonder why I have a sudden urge to brutally murder this _Jack Ryder_." Joker laughed low and dangerous, he stared deep into my eyes, almost like he knew the secret of Jack. Instinctively I pull down the sleeves of my doctor's coat, and lift up the collar of my turtleneck. Joker smiles knowingly and drops his gaze, back to the picture.

"I don't know... would you like to explore that train of thought, Jason?" My shaking had stopped. I was finally somewhat back in control.

"Jason, what? I think y-you mean Joker." Joker eyes me suspiciously.

"Oh, did I say Jason? Sorry." That wasn't like me, making mistakes in identity wasn't something that I did.

Joker nodded his head. I sensed that he wasn't going to say anything else.

"Well. That was certainly an eventful session. If you wouldn't mind, maybe you could refrain from kissing me in further sessions. As for the picture, I am still iffy on who's it really is, so for now you can keep it. But Joker, if I find any more of these-" I pick up the black rose from the floor "-in my office I am going to have to let a certain Bat know. You under stand me?"

"Okay, I will not kiss you anymore, unless you ask, hon, and for the record I never did give you that flower- and if I were to give you a flower it would be a large bouquet of white roses." Joker smiles in- what appeared to be- a seductive manner. I just rolled my eyes and exited the cell as quickly as I could- though before the cell door slammed shut I whirled around, and caught a glimpse of an emotion in Joker's eyes that I never expected.

Longing.


	10. Chapter 10

#Selina Kyle/Catwoman#

When the 19th of October came, that's when I really started freaking out. Bruce hasn't come into the office for a week, and the last time I really got to talk to him was two weeks ago when he drug my drunk ass home once again. By now I had stopped feeling bad about that, and had moved onto my next problem. Harley's birthday party, and it was in 12 days.

Harley's birthday was on Halloween, so I wanted to throw her an amazing masquerade party... At Wayne manor. That poor girl has had a couple rough weeks. Ever since that night when she came to me all beaten up, she has been living with me. But that didn't keep Jack from calling the damned house at all hours and stalking Harley. God, was he a freak.

I told Harley to go to the police but according to her, "she can handle it". Whatever, Harley.

I clicked the keyboard impatiently. It was Friday, and I wanted to get out of this office. Since Bruce wasn't here, why should I have to be? I am his personal assistant after all. With no Bruce I have absolutely nothing to do.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and slowly turned my chair around. Probably was the lobby manager at Wayne Enterprises coming to whine at me again about my cat sitting in the employee lounge.

Leave me alooooone, I whine in my head, she's siiiiick!

But it isn't Honey, the burly German lobby manager, it was Bruce.

"Hello Selina." He smiles.

"Hey Bruce! Haven't seen you in a while." I'm sure I'm beaming like an idiot.

"I know. I was on... Business in Thailand." Bruce quirks an eyebrow at the word business. Well hell, looks like the Batman has his Gotham-based affluent claws stuck in another country!

"Business... Got'cha." I roll my eyes.

"It's good to see you, Selina. And I like your hair- you cut it." Bruce says.

"It's good to see you too, did you know I have absolutely nothing to do when you're not here? I have been bored all week. and yes, I did cut it." this was true, I chopped off all of my black hair, trying out the look of a pixie cut.

"Is that so? Well in that case, I have some paperwork I could use your help with." I look out the all-glass wall to my left, and the sun is just setting. I look at my watch and see that it is almost five. I shrug, as long as I am with my Bruce I think I will be just fine with working overtime.

"Sure, wha'cha got for me?"

After four hours of reading manuscripts, transcripts, and editorial pieces, all the while making fun of the horrible grammar and awkward wording, Bruce and I are just inches away from each other.  
At first I had debated on wether I should drag my wheely chair into his... Well ginormous office, but then quickly decided against that idea, and instead sat on the edge of his equally massive desk.

The first two hours were spent talking about strictly business. I was so bored, up until the third hour when we began talking about the past week, but more of my week than his. When I asked him what his week was like, he simply said "demonic" and that he was "glad to be home".  
I described my week as tiring, boring, and long, needless to say I was looking forward to the weekend.  
In the last hour we totally abandoned the paperwork and pleasantries of hours one through three, and were browsing hilariously idiotic videos on YouTube.

"Wait, wait. I have a song I want to listen to!" I interject between my mad fits of giggles. At this point I was sitting on the arm of Bruce's big leather chair, I leaned down and tapped in the title of the song I wanted.

"The oldies?" Bruce chuckles at my selection, I ignore him and click the link.

The epic sounds of Queen's "Somebody to Love" fill the room.

I slide off of the arm of the chair and walk away towards the all glass wall across the room. Half of the way there I slip off my heels and kick them away, my feet sinking into the plush carpet.

I make it to the glass of the window and look out on Gotham, from the highest level of Wayne enterprises tower, the cars below looked like hot wheels brand toys with functional lighting systems. I gaze over the horison, and besides the midnight black sky, you wouldn't be able to tell it was almost nine at night. All the lights were on, business, apartment, and car lights illuminated the night, strobe searchlights in technicolor blinked in the sky over downtown Gotham's club and bar scene.

"Do you like the view?" Bruce asks.

"It's beautiful." I feel my stomach flutter. I both my hands through my hair, and turn around and see Bruce a mere two feet away from me. Our eyes meet for what seemed like a century. I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn't coax myself to move. I was paralyzed with fear- what if I was misenturpreting all of this?

Kiss me you damn fool!

"It's late." He says.

"Is that so? I think I recall encountering you at an hour much later than this one." I wag my eyebrows.

"Hmm... I think you're going to have to jog my memory, Selina. Say, over dinner?" Bruce smiles. I feel like my knees are going to buckle. I put on a good game face, but inside all I really want is someone to come home to. Though, it would really be a bonus if it was Bruce who I was coming home to. His full pouty lips... so kissable.

"This sounds like a date.. are you asking me out, Mister Wayne?" I half smile coyly, when on the inside I am doing cartwheels over the rooftops.

"I suppose I am. How about tonight? I could call Alfred and have him fix something." Bruce offers.

"Okay. I'll go get my things." My voice sounded peaky. I felt like a half spooked cat, twitchy with my hackles raised, as I waved to Bruce and exited his enormous office. Cool your jets, Selina. It isn't like this is your first date with the guy.

I was rummaging through my desk when it hit me.

This really was my first date with the guy. Sure Batman and I, as Catwoman, would fend off crime, more or less, together and we were close enough in the office... But never any dates. Then again there were the steamy makeout sessions on the rooftops of Gotham, I shiver involuntarily at the memories...

• • • • • • • • • • •  
+Batman/Bruce Wayne+  
I unlocked my iPhone and dialed the line to Wayne manor, after two rings I hear the kindly voice of Alfred.

"Master Bruce, is everything alright?" His tone was an unsettling mixture of relief and anxiety.

"Yes, Alfred. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, I ran into Selina at the office and-"

"Say no more Master Bruce, what is it that you have called me for?" Alfred's voice quickly turned giddy. I roll my eyes.

"Well I was just wondering if you could put something together for Selina and I. She is coming back to the manor with me and-"

"Again, say no more, I will have something prepared by the time you two get here. Have I ever told you how fond I am of Miss Kyle?" Again, Alfred interrupted me. Of course I didn't mind, because it was simply hilarious how happy he sounded.

"I don't think you have, Alfred, but I am sure we can discuss that over dinner." I roll my eyes again and run my left hand through my hair.

"Alright Master Bruce, one last question. Will you be dining in the formal hall, in the kitchen or in your room, Sir?" My eyes popped wide open.

"Alfred!" I gasped in mock-horror

"Only a joke, Sir... only a joke. Goodbye, see you soooon." Alfred drew out the word "soon" in a sing-song manner. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Goodbye, Alfred, perverted old man..." I scoff and I hear him burst out laughing on the other line before he hangs up. I roll my eyes and chuckle at out conversation. How I loved my butler, my Alfred.  
I was leaned up against the corner of my desk facing away from the door when Selina stepped in sprinting over to where her shoes were. Instead of slipping them on she shoved them into her bag and turned ans smiled at me. Selina was one beautiful woman. She had sparkling green eyes, raven colored hair and light caramel colored skin, she always dressed nice too... today she was wearing a black dress shirt with the sleeves folded up to her elbows. The shirt was tucked into her jeans, which were high wasted and had flare bottoms.

"You ready?" I ask.

"Yes... where is your car parked?" Selina walked over to me and leaned up against the desk beside me.  
I blinked. Where was my car? Then it hit me.

"I didn't bring a car... per se." I pursed my lips.

"What did you bring, then? A motorcycle?" Selina turned to me and smiled with a twinkle in her eye.

"No... I brought a Batmobile." I shut my eyes. Smooth move Brucey.

"Oh my god. Seriously?" Selina stood up and grasped my hand. "Question one: where the hell is it parked, and Question two: how fast does it go?" I opened my eyes to look and see Selina beaming.

"Weeeell that's the tricky part getting to it... you see- you have to get to it through a tunnel... in a pod... that fits one person, and I would say she can go about two hundred... maybe more with the booster."

"Show me." Selina purred, intertwining her fingers with mine.

"Okay."

#Selina Kyle/Catwoman#

I. Was. Going. To. Ride. In. The. Mother-Freakin'. Batmobile.

Hell yes! Though it wasn't really my first time in it, I would still jump at any chance to be inside it... with Bruce of course, without him, I'm sure that I would either: A, blow it up or B, not know how to drive it and end up crashing it. Neither of those did I want to happen.

Bruce drug me along, though I wouldn't really say it was dragging, as I was more than willing to follow him.

Bruce walked in long strides over to the wall opposite the all glass one, and stopped abruptly at a painting that was wall-length. It was pretty enough, but more more than a little too abstract for my taste. Bruce's fingers were still interlaced with mine and my heart did a little lurch right into my throat.

Bruce then started to press little points on the painting that were little yellow speckles. I cocked my head a little to the side, and then was leaning sharply to the left; relying on Bruce for support with my right hand. There it was, though subtle, if you tipped your head to the left and connected the little yellow dots, you got a very nice outline of a BatSymbol. Bruce had stopped tapping the points of the symbol and now was typing on a little pad that now was in the center of the abstract bat-symbol painting. There were thirty buttons, all blank, excluding the last four; which had an asterisk, forward slash, back slash, and a dash mark printed on them.

Bruce tapped the 11, 25, 12, and 5 buttons, then the 30th one that was the dash. He began tapping away again, starting with 20, 8, and the 5; he hit the dash button again, then began tapping another set of numbers; 20, 15, 13, 3, 1, and then 20.

I jumped back when the painting began to slide upwards, receding back into a gap in the ceiling that wasn't there before.

"Startled, Selina?" Bryce says with a hint of laughter.

"Psh, no." I scoff. The pod that was now sticking out of the wall where the painting once hung was nearly as tall as the ceiling. I was still holding Bruce's hand. It made my heart skip a beat.

"Shall we?" Bruce gestured to the pod and smiled a dazzling smile.

"We shall." I beamed right back at him.

Bruce releases my hand and I struggle to hush the whimper that wants to escape my throat.

Bruce places his right hand onto the glass of the pod, it reacts to the touch and etches a grid mark around his hand.

"Handprint and pin code authenticated. Identify yourself, please." A mechanical sounding female voice requests.

"Bruce Wayne and guest." He says clearly.

"Please state the identity of the guest. Guest, place your hand on the interface and state your name." The same mechanical voice addressed me this time. I took a few steps foreword and pressed my hand to the interface, the same grid mark forming around my hand.

"Your name."

"Selina Kyle." I state as clear as I can.

"Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle identified. Proceed. The glass called, the interface, slid aside to reveal the tiny space of the pod.

"Damn, it is pretty cozy in there." I eye the interior of the pod dubiously. It looked kinda plush inside, like a bed all over.

Or a coffin. The back of my brain nags.

"How I see it, we both could most likely fit if I held you." The devious side of me licked her lips.

"'Kay." I say simply, taking a single step back to steady myself, then launching myself into Bruce's arms.


	11. Chapter 11

%Harley Quinn%

Vrr vrr, vrr vrr.

I ran my fingers along the hardwood floor until I met my vibrating phone.

I squinted my eyes at the glowing screen. The title said Unknown Caller. I grumbled at the desplayed time of four AM and clicked the ignore button.

The phone began to vibrate again in my hand, signaling that I had a message. I angerly hit the dial button.

"You have one missed call;" I heared the mechanical voice of my voicemail box say.

"Received today at three fifty-nine AM, new message from: six-four-six-three-two-eight-seven-zero-seven-seven."

"Hi Harley! Call me back- hey what's your number Brucey? Oh ya!- call me back at six-four-six-three-two-eight-seven-oh-seven-seven, okay? Loveyabye!"

"End of message. To delete press seven. To save press nine. More options press zero." I clicked the number seven.

"Message deleted. Main menu. To listen to your messages press one. To send a message press t-" I hung up the call with my voicemail and went to my missed call menu. I clicked the call button when I got to the most recent missed call. The phone rang once before Selina answered.

"Hi Harley! Can you feed the cat?"

"What guy are you with this time Selina?" I put my arm over my eyes. She sounded way too perky for four in the morning.

"We'll it isn't like it's always a guy."

"Yeah there was that one redhead who was wearing your clothes, but you were so drunk that night I was surprised you didn't go to bed with a lamp."

"What? Whatever. You aren't making any sense, Harl. What time is it? What are you doing right now?"

"It is four. I was sleeping." I say humorlessly. I was not really in the mood for Selina's shenanigans.

"We seriously need to get you a boyfriend. All alone on a Saturday morning." Selina clucked her tongue at me

"Sully, up until two weeks ago I was in a very happy relationship with a man who was my fiancée."

"Damn. I'm sorry I totally spaced about that." all traces of humor left selina's voice.

"It's alright. I know you kinda suck at remembering things. Especially in the midst of a booty call." I giggled.

"Hey! This is not a booty call. Bruce had been nothing but a gentleman to me."

"Bruce... as in Bruce Wayne?"

"No, Bruce as in Bruce Bobbem. Of course Bruce Wayne, really Harley." You could hear the sarcasm plain in her voice.

"Well it is four in the morning." I shot back.

"I know. I know. But seriously could you feed the cat?"

"I think you mean cats." I look to my left and see the hoard of cats in different colors laying over selina's side of the bed.

"Yeah- tch Bruce! Don't you know not to t-tickle people when they're naked?!" Selina squealed.

"Um... I'm gonna go now Selina... have fun, and call me if you need a ride home." I felt my face warm. I wasn't even in the same city as selina, but I was still embarrassed by her crassness.

"Ha! Okay loveyoubye!" The line went dead.

I stared at my phone, Selina could be a bit of a ho sometimes... but I couldn't exactly judge. I had some less than chaste ways of getting myself into the top percentile of all my classes. Not that anyone knew about it... not even Jack. But it didn't really matter either way because we weren't even in a romantic relationship until I was twenty-two and half a year out of college.

I pushed myself out of the bed and ran to the half open door. I looked at selina's white leather couch and saw two more cats sitting there. I wondered how Selina kept her house in such good order when she had what seemed like ten cats.

I went to take another step to the kitchen when I saw movement in the corner of my eye, I turned to the big window on the wall.  
I couldn't see much but what I could see was a tall man, wearing neon clothing, with a rather large knife in his hand.

*Joker*

It was four thirty in the morning. I knew this why? Well mostly because I could read a clock, and we have passed a lot of those.

I was strapped to a dolly-type device, and I was being wheeled around by Batman.

Apparently I couldn't just slip by my guards whenever I wanted. Also, apparently my ankle was healed so now I could be moved from the medical facility to the intensive care unit. I really hated that place. They usually stuck ya with a roommate, and I really didn't want to be stuck with Jervis again. That man wouldn't shut up about his Alice this, or his Alice that. At least, I thought, he was crazy enough that if you told him that someone was messing around with Alice he would go and poison their tea or something.

"Why so quiet, Joker?" Batman asked.

"I'm in a contemplative sort of mood." I lie.

"What are you contemplating?" I groan. Why on earth was Bats trying to make small talk?

"I am figuring out how long it would take me to skinny out of these straps, run to my hideout, grab my face paints, and come back." I explain my fake plan.

"You're never getting o-" Batman stopped wheeling the cart. "Did you say come back?"

"Of course I did. Why would I want to leave? Things are so much more fun with Harley around." I heard a small intake of breath by Bats.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her." Batman growls from behind me. He really does that a lot, growl.

I laugh "You are so hard to please! I mean, first you drag me here and tell me to listen to everything that the doctor tells me, then you go and say I have to stay away from her. What the hell is a guy supposed to do?" I would probably have folded my arms now, but they were strapped at my sides.

"You know what I mean Joker."

"But I really don't, so unless you start explaining really quickly I think I just might do whatever I want- like I normally do- and you can't say you told me not to do it! So there!" Batman huffed

"Joker, just be serious for once. It is plain to all of us that you are in love with Harley. You did kiss her after all, why would you do that if you didn't mean it?"

"I dunno, to confuse you all maybe? Bats, you of all people should know I don't have feelings like love and affection anymore." I didn't have them because every time I did, I ended up worse for wear. I didn't love Harley and she didn't love me, I mean what did I expect? Harley to just remember the old flame and come back again like a moth? There was no way in hell that a beautiful person like her would go for a hideous monster that I was. I could get inside her mind, play games, dance a little dance, but I would never be able to bring my 14 year old Harley back to the surface.

"Joker, in the short couple if weeks that you have been here, I have seen you do things, I have witnessed emotions that I would not have thought you to have in a million years. You cried. You have called out in your sleep to her. You totally lost it when Harleen walked in with a photograph of her and her fiancée. At first I thought it was all an act, but now I see. I have finally caught a glimpse of who you really are."

"And who am I?" I grimace. I really did all those things?

"You are just a scared teenager, trapped-no- hidden under a mask of violence." Batman walked from behind me and smirked triumphantly.

And that's when I lost it.

"Why are you laughing?" Batman wheeled the dolly so that I was up against the wall.

"Because you are so cute when you think you've got me all figured out." I grin.

"Ugh! You are so infuriating!"

"Only to you honey, Eddie thinks I am hilarious."

"You-" Batman's glove started to glow and made sort of a vweep vweep sound.

"Hello Harleen." Batman looked at me again, triumphant.

"What?! Who is in your apartment?" I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Somebody was in my Harlequin's apartment, and I had the sudden urge to cut a few people's throats to remedy that.

+Batman/Bruce Wayne+

"I-I'm not in m-my ap-partnent. I have b-been livin-ng with Selina K-kyle the pas-st coup-ple of w-weeks." Harleen said weekly.

"Is Selina with you?" I knew the answer was no. Selina was still probably sleeping in my bed back at Wayne manor.

"No. S-she is at W-wayne m-manor." Naturally.

"Okay, Harleen. Who was in your apartment, and what is going on with you?" I say as calm as possible.

"B-man. What is going on?" Joker asked impatiently.

"Nothing of your concern." I grabbed the handle of the cart and was dragging Joker quickly back to his cell in the medical facility.

"Batman, it was jack. But he didn't look like jack, he was wearing neon clothes and he didn't have his green eyes. Batman, he... He stabbed me." Her words were strained like she was trying to get them out quickly.

"Where! Where did he stab you?" I dropped joker's cart and started running to the service desk.

"What is going on?!" Joker said from the floor. I ignored him.

"I dunno! There is a lot of blood and my head hurts like hell. Wait! Ugh! I think he cut my stomach open."

"Where? What direction is it going?" I made it to the information desk an told the ladies dressed in pink to get gaurds to Joker.

"I- damn!- it goes from the bottom of my ribs- ouch!- to my belly button and curves down my thigh. I think it makes a backwards 'C'."

"A 'C'?"

"Yes. Batman, after Jack left, he just kinda dropped out of the window. Should I be worried about him coming back?"

"I don't think so. I will be there soon Harley. Can you hang on?" This situation was too similar to Barbara's for my taste.

"I'm sure of it. No way in hell am I letting that creep come in here and cut me for no damn reason and just walk away. He is a damn fool for messing with me. I am no doormat. I won't be beaten, abused, and then murdered. No. I am going to prosecute." I widened my eyes. I can see why she's Selina's best friend. They both have spunk.

"If we are going to keep you alive, I would advise you to call the police. Do you understand?"

"I sure do. Goodbye Batman."

"Goodbye Harleen."

I stand in silence. A billion scenarios going through my mind.

My glove started to glow again.

"Hello Alfred." I say.

"Master Wayne, I finally got that information you requested on Elaine Glenn and Harleen Francis Quinzel."

"You did? What did you get?" I smirked, it usually took more than a month for Barbara's computer program, Oracle, to scower the Internet.

"Well, Master Bruce, all I got on Elaine Glenn was that she was the Joker's fifth therapist, also the fifth one to die by suicide. Left in the apartment after her death was a black rose with a Polaroid photograph tied to the stem. But those aren't the only flowers found, a dozen red roses were placed in different locations around the apartment. Her stomach, along with the other four therapists that hung themselves, was cut from the ribs to the thigh in a sort of backwards 'C' shape. But a strange thing about the cut, is that it was done after death. I got no past on her. She literally doesn't exist before 2000 nither do the other four. First thing I get is an apartment lease on Miss Glenn, and various government documents that I can't acces from the others." A black rose? A 'c' shaped cut? A therapist of Joker? It was just too good to be true.

"What about Harleen?"

"Same goes for her, too, sir. Except I can't even find a birth certificate for her. The most recent thing I have on the her is a college degree at Gotham Uni for Therapy something or other from 2009, then a co-lease on a high end apartment in Gotham with her common-law husband Jack Ryder in December of the same year."

"Jack Ryder is her husband?" I ask

"Only in common law, Sir."

"What does that mean?"

"Well simply put Sir, since Miss Quinzel and Mister Ryder have been living together for almost three years, Gotham and the State recognize them as a married couple."

"Interesting. And does this mean that Harleen will have to get a divorce to be rid of him?" I ask.

"I will have to look into it, Sir."

"Is that all you have for me Alfred?"

"No Sir. Master Dick called."

"He did? What did he say?"

"He told me, to tell you that Barbara is still in the coma, but the doctors will be trying to wake her up this afternoon. He says she talks in her sleep about you, so he wants you to be there when she is awake."

"She... Talks about me? Why not Dick? I thought they were in some sort of relationship?"

"That they are."

"Oh. Oh damn." I put my forhead in my palm.

"I was waiting for that reaction, Sir."

"What did you tell him? Did you tell him that I am Batman today?"

"I did Sir. He says that Batman never went out at noon while he was Robin."

"Did you tell him I had Selina with me?"

"He said bring her along, the more friendly faces the merrier."

"I just can't win can I?" I walk out of the front doors of the medical facility. It was raining. Naturally.

"Doesn't seem like it, Master Bruce." I sigh at the laughter hidden in his tone.

"Call Dick back and tell him that I will try and be there, but I have an attempt at murder to deal with." I say bitterly. I did not want to get involved in matters of the heart. I already had to deal with my own feelings, and that was something I didn't usually have to do.

"You have an attempt at murder? The poor soul. Who was it?"

"Doctor Harleen Quinzel." I smirk, climbing into the Batmobile.

"Good god. Was it at Miss Kyle's apartment?"

"Sure was."

"I will make sure to keep her here then."

"You do that Alfred. And keep digging on Harley. I have a feeling that we are about to uncover something huge." "Goodbye"

"Goodbye Master Wayne."

With that I turned up the music volume in the car and let the detective process unfold as I drove.  
The song playing; Somebody to Love by Queen.

*Joker*

I know only two things.

One is that Bats has Harley on speed dial. Which is a little more than creepy.

And two, some person is in Harley's apartment and they stabbed her.

What the hell was I doing here sitting around when I should be finding the psycho who hurt her!

I heard the tumble of locks click together to open in my new cell.

It was my brand new guards Brett Strakkenbratt and Tristan Jamenson.

"What do you want?" I ask bitterly.

"We were instructed to take you to intensive care. So, come quietly-"

I interrupted Brett. "Oh my god, you really are as stupid as you seem!" I put my face in my hands.

"Excuse me?" Brett asks. I stand and walk over to them.

"At least my other cell guards wore helmets."

They both charged at me; expected.

I dodged them and they both ran into the cell as I ran out. I slammed the door shut and pulled the key out of the hole and chucked it down the hallway.

"Ta ta Brettistian!"

I went at a sprint and ran straight out the front door.


	12. Chapter 12

%Harley Quinn%

"Come on Harley! Bruce is waiting outside." Selina whines.

"I have stayed at that man's house ever since I was discharged. I am not staying one more night. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself." I protest from the white couch. I was sitting upside down with my legs hanging over the back of the couch. I was only wearing a bra so I could give my scar some breathing room.

"Harley please! Just put a shirt on- or don't even do that- just come with us. It's for your own safety."

"Nope. I am staying here. And if I'm not welcome then I am going to my own apartment."

"But-"

"But nothing!" I interrupt "Jack is in custody. That's all I care about."

"Harley, if you would just listen!" Selina springs herself over the back of the couch and lays upside down with me.

"I'm listening." I would hear her points but I am staying here.

"Harley, the night you were hurt by Jack- fricking psycho- Joker escaped." Selina stares at me with big green eyes. It takes a minute to sink in.

"What!" I throw my hands in the air

"Youch, ears. Mine. Really close to your mouth!"

"Well I'm sorry that nobody tells me anything anymore! First I find out that my fiancée is a wife-beater, then I find out that he doesn't really have green eyes, then I realize that I have been living with the Creeper for three years! God! What is with my life! It's like all it is, is lies and secrets! And on top of it all I still can't remember anything of my past and you are no help with that because I only met you in college! Damnit!" I pant for air.

"Are you done with your tirade?" Selina raises an eyebrow at me.

"Yes. I am still not going with you and Bruce though. I appreciate that he would let me live with him for a few days while I might be being stalked by Joker, but I don't think he will ever find the apartment. Really."

"If you say so... Can you feed the cats?" Selina asks.

I raise my eyebrow. And gesture to my stomach.

"Oh yeah. The not moving thing, I'll feed them." Selina hops up and I roll my eyes.

"So Harley your cellphone is programmed so that if you press and hold two it calls me, if you press and hold three it calls Alfred-"

"I love Alfred."

"We all do. Anyway hold three and it calls batman. You got that?"

"Yeah. Don't patronize me, I know how to work my own cellphone Selina." I say.

"I know. Just reminding you. I love you."

"Uhhuh, love you too, I think I get why you love it so much there."

"Well Bruce. Duh." She leans over the couch and rolls her eyes.

"He has a cat though."

"Bruce doesn't have a cat." Selina cocks her head to the side.

"Then he has huge purring rats." Selina squints her eyes at me.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were on weirdo medications while you were living there. I don't trust all that you may have seen or heard."

I take a breath in to start my own point but Selina is already talking again.

"And speaking of those crazy-ass medications, you should be taking them about now." Selina turns away and skips merrily to the kitchen.

"Ugh. Why?" I swing my legs over so I was laying on the couch and I toss a throw pillow over my face.

"You know why. They make you feel better." I hear the tap turn on. Selina was filling up a glass of water for me to take my medications.

"Whatever you say Selina..." She turned around the couch and set down my two pills and a glass of water down on the coffee table.

"C'mon. Just take them." Selina whines.

"Fine." I sit up and grimace at the pain in my stomach, and chuck the pills in the back of my throat gulping down the entire glass of water.

"Anyway, Ill be over at eight, noon, and five to bring you meals. Okay?" Selina scoots over on the couch putting a hand on my shoulder.

"You don't have to do that. I know how much you like spending time at Bruce's." I roll my eyes and shrug off her hand, flipping back around so that my legs were hanging off the back of the couch again.

"Are you sure?" Selina asks with hopeful wide eyes.

"Yes I'm sure. Now go, your boyfriend is freezing his ass off out there." I roll my eyes as Selina excitedly jumped off the couch, leaned over and kissed my forehead, and skipped out the door.

"Love ya, see ya, bye!"

"Love you too... and BE SAFE!" I yell out the door after her.

After sitting in silence, staring at the ceiling fan for what seemed like forever I looked out the big window and see that it it inky black outside. I decide it it time for bed.

I felt like my movements were stalled, like I was moving like a robot. I also felt like laughing like an idiot. I think the pain medication was starting to kick in.

I hobbled into the bedroom and slipped on a t-shirt that I had left on the floor from earlier and dodged under the bed sheets.

As I drifted I started to think about what kind of hell my life had become. Within a few short weeks my life turned on it's head and dumped me into a sort of suspended space. It was like I was in some sort of soap opera and didn't know I was cast for the lead role. I would be married in a month to a psychotic creeper if it wasn't for that picture. The picture that saved me, but also killed me. It was like... It was like Joker knew all the right things to say. Even though he was maddening as hell I knew that somewhere deep, deep, down maybe he could be good.

Or you could go evil. A little part of my brain nagged at me.

No... That was out of the question. It wasn't like that.

Well I was... and I mean, I have slept with upwards of thirty men just to make a grade. Most of them married. But that wasn't that bad... was it?

I internally nodded my head. Yes. Yes it really was that bad.

But Joker couldn't give me the things that I wanted. He couldn't get married to me. He couldn't give me a family.

Selina was right. I needed to get out more often. It seems like the only men in my life have been psychotics.

And, one of them you are a therapist to! That annoying little part of my brain barked at me again.

What if I didn't care? What if I wanted to be with Joker?

But you don't.

I sighed internally. I really didn't. It wasn't like I was in love with him, he was just an example... right?

I'm standing in a room. The room is small and cramped with a boring beige colored bed in one corner. On the other side of one of the walls I can hear two hearts beating. The wall I could hear the heartbeats from was plastered with hundreds of pictures, though they were all the same. The picture was the one that I had left with Joker.  
I have a sledge hammer in my hand, and before I can question where I am or what I am doing, I am pounding the wall of pictures down.  
Once It's gone and the dust settles I can see two boys in this new room. One looks to only be about five, he has sunshine-blonde hair, eyes the color of herbal green tea, and lightly tanned pale skin. He looks very morose, and his chin in set in his hands while he is sitting on his stool. The other looks much older, about sixteen, and he has dark brown hair with eyes to match. He is lean and has a strong jaw with a cleft chin, he looks much happier with himself.  
But I am instantly drawn to the little boy. I walk over the threshold into the new room and look down at my clothes, they are different now. I am wearing a yellow sun dress, and my feet no longer have shoes.  
I kneel in front of the little boy and stick my hand out.

"Hello." I say, The little boy sticks his tongue out at me.

"My name is Harleen." He looks me over.

"Pssh. Harleen." He rolls his eyes. I drop my hand, hurt.

"Well what's your name, then?" I say sourly.

"My name is Jason. Jason Johnson. But-" The little boy looks at me with intense green eyes that a five year old should not have.  
"-you, my Harlequin, can call me Joker." With that, the boy stands up and morphs into the lean, towering figure of the Joker.

I awaken in a cold sweat. My heart galloped in my chest at an unnerving pace, but there was a dull ache there. An ache that I instantly recognized as loss. I know that pain well, since I've lost so much in these last few weeks.

As I sit in the bed trying to determine the time without reaching for my cellphone, I jump at the sound of the sliding window in the living area opening violently. The salty taste of adrenaline coming up in the back of my throat.

I hear a loud thud and cuss words flowing out from a male's voice.

"Honey! I'm hooome!" My eyes widen.

Of all the people who could break into the apartment... I was not expecting him.


	13. Chapter 13

*Joker*

I banged through what I thought was the bedroom door.

"Oh good! You're home. Now Harley-"

"What the hell are you doing here!?"

"Coming to ask you if you have face paint, duh! Now get dressed so we can talk." I grinned wildly as if enjoying the worlds greatest joke.

She narrows her eyes at me "Why should I listen to you?!"

"Well by all means, please come talk to me while in your underwear, I was only trying take into account your wants." I shrug.

She gapes at me.

"Okay and let's say I do change, but also alert Batman that you are here, hmm?" She asks sourly.

"Oh we all know you aren't going to do that. So stop pretending that you aren't happy to see me, and put ya clothes on woman!" I turn on my heel and slam the door.

"You are sure taking your time, sweets." I pace in front of the door waiting as patiently as I can manage.

"I wasn't anticipating getting dressed _at all_ this week, so I have no clean clothes!" Harley says back at me.

"Just wear something random, I guess, then." How long does it really take to get dressed?... _women. _

"I can't do that because Selina's boobs aren't as big as mine, so I can't exactly wear her clothes." I blink my eyes a few times... did she really just say that?

"Are you seriously talking about your boobs?" I bite my cheek to keep myself from laughing.

The bedroom door swings open.

"Yup, now outta my way. I gotta brush my hair." I press my body against the wall, and she bursts through the door opposite me. She was only wearing her unders.

"What time is it, Joker." She demands.

"Um, probably, four in the afternoon. Why?" She continues to rip the silver brush through her hair

"Dammit! I've been asleep for almost Eighteen hours!" She slams the bathroom door and locks it from the other side.

"What are you doing?" This was the most odd of situations.

"Going to the bathroom."

"Oh." I turn on my heel and walk back into the living area. I don't even know what I am doing here. I just had to check on her, I guess.

Ever since the creeper cut her- I involuntarily curled up my lip at the name- and I followed her around the hospital. I just had to be sure she was going to be alright, but she didn't have to know that.

"Joker." my head snapped up.

"Nice." I smile at the pure sexiness that was the pink bunny pajamas she was wearing.

"Oh shut up. Now what are you ding here?" She puts her hands on her hips.

"I wanted to see if you had any face paints." I tapped the side of my face showing the lack of white, red and black.

"I'm sorry to disappoint but I don't." She shakes her head.

"That's alright, I did bring my own." I smile a wide smile.

%Harley Quinn%

I stand in the door of the hall and watch Joker make his way over to the large window and slink through the open panel and return with a pile of clothes with a tray of Halloween paint that sat on top of the folded clothes.

"What are the clothes for?"

"For wearing. honestly , you would think that someone as smart as yourself would know that."

"Don't patronize me, Joker. I've had enough of being messed with. Now what are you for or I swear I am going to call Batman or Selina. She'll scratch your eyes out." I knew I really wouldn't call Batman or Selina. but Joker didn't know that.

"We both know you won't call Batman... But I am not so sure about your friend. What did you say her name was, again?" Okay, well apparently he did know it was an empty threat.

"Her name is Selina Kyle." I say adding great emphasis on Selina and Kyle.

"Oh! Oh my! Your roommate is Catwoman?" Joker exclaims.

"Yup. Though my question is how do you know her alter ego." That worried me a bit. Joker could go crazy-town and go after Selina.

"Honey, cleavage like that is hard to forget. So once you see it again you just know." Joker says while sliding onto the couch.

"Yeah... I guess her cleavage is pretty great... I guess?" Now I am talking about by best- and only- friend's cleavage. I slap my hand to my forehead. I really may have lost my crackers.

"Well her cleavage may be great, but doll, your's is much better."

"Uh th-thank you?" I laugh nervously and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. The heat creeping up my face.

"Oh God, are you blushing?" Joker's shoulders shake with silent laughter.

I don't reply, instead I walk over to the couch Joker was sitting on and slide over the back.

"So why are you here? You keep avoiding the question." I fold my arms over stomach.

"You see, at the Asylum they don't have face paint or decent water temperatures. So basically, my last shower was" Joker pauses and twitches his eyes around doing the mental math "-about October seventeenth. So a week ago. I like my hygiene and my hot water, so can I take a shower here?" He cocks his head to the side, his shaggy green locks tipping with his head.

"Why didn't you just break into someone else's house and shower there?" This was such an unbelievably odd situation it was almost normal. Almost.

"That's easy. Anyone else who would see the joker showering in the bathroom would loose their sh*t, then take a nudie photo of me without my face paint on, then call Batman. You- I don't exactly mind if you take my picture, because I know it's safe with you and you won't call Bats because you like my company too much." His logic was laughable but utterly accurate.

"How do you know for certain that I still won't call B-Man."

"Because, One, you so don't feel threatened by me- which is stupid because I've liked so many people with this very knife-" Joker fishes around in his pocket and produces a little silver utility knife. "and Two, You just called Batman "B-Man", I must be rubbing off on you... little virgin." Joker reaches over and taps my nose. My stomach twitches inside, I always hated that word.

I glower. "You can take a shower. Just DON'T use my towel." I warn.

"Which ones are yours?" He questions.

"Mine are red, my favorite color, Selina's are black, her favorite cat color." Joker's green eyes sparkle.

"You know what else is red? Blood." He smiles dangerously.

"Oh really, I hadn't noticed." I smirk.

"Psh, who's the patronizing one now?"

"Still you. Get your ass in the shower before I change my mind and kick you out."

"Alright, alright, be back in fifteen." Joker jumps up, skips around the furniture to the bathroom.

I stared upside-down at the dark hallway, zoning out.

I wondered if Joker had this sort of effect on everyone. It was like he oozed charisma and confidence. But, I guess you just good with stuff like that after living so long as a villain. From what I've read on Batman's database Joker has been this way from the day of his grand appearance when he bunt a Catholic orphanage over in Blackgate to the ground nine years ago. Only one person died, an elderly woman who was a tender to the grounds.

Then there was the time he burnt down half of Bruce Wayne's mansion,

Filled the Gotham City Police Department with his toxin, killing dozens of men,

When he played chess in the park, and with every piece that died, a person of varying levels of affluence was gunned down by Deadshot,

When he escaped Arkham Asylum and took six patients with him; Poison Ivy, Mad Hatter, Killer Croc, Riddler, Scarecrow, and Clayface,

Then the most recent known stunt- When he said that he was going to explode different sections of Gotham at every hour staring at 5 in the morning if Batman hadn't captured him.

and now... He was in my apartment. I shook my head, and I heard a rush of water run through the water pipes in the walls as Joker turned on the shower.

"Harley!" Joker sing-songs from the bathroom.

"What?" I whine.

"Would you do my laundry?"

"What? No! You can do your own damn laundry! I am neither your maid or wife!" I yell back.

He paused before replying.

"Could you come here for a minute?" I squint my eyes, but made the necessary movements to get to the bathroom door. I banged on it with an open palm.

"What do you want?" I ask exasperatedly.

Joker opens the door and plops his clothes he was just wearing in my hands. I stared at the lavender shirt, golden vest, hunter green trousers, and red polka dot boxers. Then I craned my neck up to meet his shining green eyes. He looked all to amused with this situation.

"I thought I said I wasn't going to do your laundry." I will myself not to look at his impressive musculature.

"Yes you did. But here you are anyway... have I ever told you that you that you are my very favorite therapist?" He smiled a kid-like smile and leaned over me and pecked his lips to my forehead. My body did something strange. It tensed up and melted at the same time. Then his lips were gone and he shut the door. I heard the towel that was around his waist hit the floor and him slide the curtains shut in the shower.

I stood there for a moment. Then I heard him singing.

"_I hear your heart beat to the beat of a drums, oh what a shame that ya came here with someone, so while you're here in my arms, let's make the most of the night, like we're gonna die young._"

I threw the laundry in the machine begrudgingly. I was doing a madman's laundry._ Why_?

Why did I find him so fascinating, hilarious, and worse yet- attractive?

It wasn't like I was one of those weirdos who was turned on by bad boys- Jack was nothing but a gentleman from the day I met him. Though, the earliest memories of Jack consist of college. How I hate not being able to remember my adolescence. All I have of it is my Journal. But I don't even know where I put that. Jack probably did something unsavory with it after I left.

My phone began to buzz in the breast pocket of my bunny pajamas, the ID said Selina Kyle, I clicked the green answer button.

"Hello?" I say cautiously.

"Ohmygawd! I am so sorry that I haven't called you until now... have you been alright? I mean, it isn't really my fault, it's Bruce. He is probably one of the horniest men I've ever met." It took a minute for that one to sink in.

"SELINA!"

"What?"

"God! WAY too much information!"

"Hey, it is what it is. But seriously, though. Are you okay?" I compose myself. Selina. Ugh.

"I have been fine, I was actually asleep until-" I look over to the face clock on the wall opposite the dryer, my eyes pop open. "Well- half an hour ago." I tried to search for reasons to get Selina off the phone quickly.

"Well, good morning sunshine." Selina laughs as I meander back into the living area. I almost drop the phone.

"Uh. Hang on one second Sully." I pull the phone off my ear and hit the mute button.

"What the hell, Joker?" He was just sitting there, in a red towel, lounged casually on the white leather couch.

"Well, I was done." He shrugs running his long fingers through his wet hair.

"Then why aren't you dressed!" I half shout.

"There was a cat on my clothes. I dunno if you know this, but I am allergic to cats."

"What? You are? then why haven't you had a reaction to this apartment yet? It's basically infested with cats."

"Achoo!"

I grimace. "Making the noise and actually sneezing are two different things, Joker."

"Whatever, Harls." He rolls his eyes and folds his arms over his stomach. My eyes wandered over his half-naked body. Selina yelling my name on the cell phone snapped my transient gaze into focus. I clicked the unmute button.

"Yeah Selina?"

"Well I am coming up the fire escape right now. I left my key at Bruce's... I'm going to be in the house in a sec... Okay?"

"What?!" I squeak.

"Yeah, I'll see you a sec. Bye."

I chuck the phone onto the love sac and run to Joker and pull him up from the couch.

"Woah, woah." he says.

"Get your ass into the bathroom. Now." I growl.

"Why should I?"

"God dammit, Joker. Just do it!" I pull him along into the bathroom and slam and lock the door. I hear the large window in the living area slide open and Selina call out my name.

"I'm taking a shower!" I shout.

"You are? Why am I here then?" I turn around and look at Joker.

"Stop looking like you are raping me with your eyes and get into the shower."

"What?" That sure caught him off guard.

"Ugh. Just do it. Selina will kill us both if she finds you here." I start to unbutton my Bunny top and Joker slides into the shower, eyes full of unanswered questions.

Selina starts to beat on the bathroom door, as expected.

"Yes?" I ask casually.

"I want to go to the bathroom."

"Well I am getting into the shower. I'll unlock the door though."

I slide the side of the shower that Joker was in shut. Before It shut, I motioned for him to sit down.

I Lean over and unlock the bathroom. I was just finishing the last button on my shirt and slid off my pants when Selina waltzed in.

I looked down at the pad over my stomach and down my thigh. In some parts it throbbed with the pain of movement, and to match those parts blood oozed through the bandage.

"Jeepers creepers, Harls. What have you been doing? I am going to have to re bandage that." Selina said eying the wound.

"I can do it. Anyway, I am getting in the shower. So... yeah." I turned around and slid through the shower curtain.

"So you're showering with your underwear on... okay?" Selina says with a hint of humor.

"Ha, I guess so." I laugh back.

Joker was sitting down all bunched up next to the tap of the tub. He looked really uncomfortable, as he was taller than six feet, it really made it difficult to squeeze into a position like that.

His eyes silently raked over my body. When his gaze met my injury he flinched, and his eyes widened.

He looked up at me and knitted his eyebrows together.

I shrugged and mouthed "Jack Ryder is the Creeper."

He nodded his head, and his eyes visibly darkened. Needless to say I did not want to know what he was thinking in that moment.

I turned on the tap and pulled up a knob on the faucet and it switched the water to the shower head. I twisted the water until I was satisfied with the temperature. I heard the bathroom toilet flush and the water went from warm to ice cold for a fraction of a second. Joker's mouth opened, like he was going to say something, and I firmly clamped my hand over it.

*Joker*

Harls clapped her hand over my hand rather painfully. Her eyes intensified and bore straight into my soul. I called this look her uber therapist stare. It always dared made me think that she was daring me to do something stupid.

I usually restrained myself.

But this time it seemed like just too good of an opportunity to pass up.

I squinted my eyes, letting her know what I was going to do, a fraction of a second before I did it.


	14. Chapter 14

%Harley Quinn%

His eyes squinted up at me, and I felt a tender lick on my palm, my eyes popped open a little and I gave him an "are you serious. That isn't going to phase me" look.

He shrugged at me. Apparently I didn't phase him either.

Then I felt an unimaginable pain twang through my hand. I let out a scream of pain and I pulled my hand away from Joker's mouth.

"Damn you!" I back away from Joker.

"Harley are you okay?" Selina yells over the noise of the running water.

"Yeah. I just hit my hand on the faucet, really, really hard. That damn faucet with a frickin' bad attitude." I glare at Joker meaningfully. Joker's eyes went a wild shade of green.

"I do not have a bad attitude! You love my attitude!" He yells at me.

"I do not!" I yell back.

Joker's eyes go wide and he stands up and tackles me to the floor of the tub.

My head snaps back to the hard ceramic and little black dots bloom over my eyes and I was out like a light.

I heard the whoosh of the shower curtain opening and a stream of profanities escape Selina's mouth.

She knew Joker was here. And I was in deep sh*t.

*Joker*

I smelt the blood before I saw it. My stomach clenched and bile raised in my throat. I felt an unknown emotion run through me. What was this? It wasn't that usual satisfaction that my twisted mind applied with the kinda rusty smell of the blood. It was almost sickening to me.

Selina Kyle was yelling profanities at me. This wasn't new to me. Not at all. I just did my best to ignore her.

Then I heard the bathroom door slam and Selina's presence was gone.

I jumped out the bathtub and to the door and clicked down the little lock button. I slid the soaked towel off my waist and slipped on my cat hair covered clothes. The blood was running freely from Harley's head and it stained her skin and hair with a reddish hue.

I knelt at the lip of the tub and racked my brain. What was I going to do? If I actually hurt her I would never be able to forgive myself. Killing unimportant adulterers, henchmen, and orphanage brats was easy. It didn't affect me that they died at my hands. But if I killed Harley. I would go insane- well, more insane than I was anyway.

Selina was beating on the door "Open the hell up, joker! What are you doing to her? Open up!"

"I am doing nothing! Just go back to your little boyfriend. Harley is fine." I lied. Then my brain finally snapped into action.

I turned off the faucet and hefted Harley out of the tub. I laid her down on the white tile floor, blood immediately staining it. I went to the cupboard and pulled the black towels out from under the calico cat sitting on them.  
I folded my legs and sat Indian style on the floor, pulling Harley's into my lap and pressing the black towel to her head.

Selina then started again with the swearing.

"Would ya knock it off? God, I can't even hear myself think!"

"If you don't open up I'll..." she trailed off.

"You'll what?" I ask sardonically.

She kinda cackles and I heard the beeps of cell phone buttons. "I'll call Batman."

"Aw, you wouldn't do that, would ya, kit-kat?" I smirked at my choice of words. If she hasn't figured out who I was yet... She was about to.

I say in silence with Harley's head on the black towel in my lap, I waited for the cogs to click into place in Selina's mind. While I wa waiting I prodded Harley's head, there didn't seem to be any fractures, the only reason for all the blood was a gash on the back of her head. Should heal within a couple weeks with five or six stitches.

"What? Why would you call me that?" Selina says calmly.

"Well, it's my nick name for you, of course. And you know, now that you are dating Brucey-my-family-is-dead-Wayne, you might get him to buy you a cat shop."

She gasped.

"Oh my god, Jason! You're Joker? Would you open up? Please? I need to see your face!" I roll my eyes but lean back and twist the handle of the door, unlocking it.

Selina walks around me and sits on the edge of the tub staring intently at my face.

"Oh my god... you are Jason. And what the hell happened to your hair? And my god, your face! Is that what your adopted dad did to you?"

"You know what? I still hate that name. But I dyed my hair green. So what? And yep. My psychotic adopted daddio gave me these." I traced the left outline of my facial scars.

"Um, sorry, Mister Joke Sir, and why the hell would he do that to you? I... I knew whatever he did to you to make you turn back on your promise to Harley had to be pretty bad... but I never imagined..."

"His relatives died and he started drinking. He murdered my mother, and then went after me with the knife. Told me I should smile more. As to the Harley thing, well it had to be done. I wasn't good anymore. I never was really good... but I just got worse, but you already know that. And she obviously doesn't see it's me, or she could care less. So now we are here, with Harley's head bleeding and you sitting there wide-eyed and mouth open. I need to go so you can call Bats. Harley needs her head fixed if she's gonna continue being my favorite therapist. Okay? But I am just gonna go now. TaTa!" I scoot Harley's head off my lap and lay her down on the floor.

I stand up and before I can leave the threshold of the door I am tumbling face first onto the floor.

#Selina Kyle/Catwoman#

I was straddled over Jason-Joker's chest.

"Um, excuse me?" He says breathlessly.

"Sorry. You can't just leave! We have to wake up Harley and tell her who you are! She will be so happy to figure out that you are alive!" I beam, though Jason-Joker's face is mushed into the ground.

"Selina, Selina, Selina, why can't you see that is a serioulsly terrible idea?" He sighs.

"I think it is a great idea. I think all you need is a little love, and maybe you could be good. I mean, think about it!"

"I already have. Even in my mind it didn't end up good. And you think about it, if you uproot all these emotions in one fell swoop, Harley is gonna end up hating both of us. I would rather her have a friend like you and a person like me that she works to tolerate." He rationalized.

"Why would she hate me? I can see why she would hate you, but you lied to her and said that you ran away and got married to another girl."

"Are you normally this ditzy or is today just special?" Jason-joker asks.

"Um, how do you mean?" I ask brilliantly.

"I mean, you, her best friend since she can remember, all of a sudden comes out and says that she's known her all her life and she helped the boy who destroyed her heart by giving him a convincing cover story. Yep. I think that will has over very smoothly." Joker oozed sarcasm. You could practically feel his eye-roll.

"Ah, hell. You're right. What do I tell Batman, then? That she slipped and fell in the tub?"

"Tell him the truth!" He says like its the most obvious thing in the world.

"And what is the truth exactly?"

"I broke in, told Harley I was taking a shower, and I also instructed her to wash my clothes. Then after I was done in said shower she got a phone call from you I had her by the throat and commanded her to cooperate or she was as good as dead. So she played along until I went and messed it up. There. Your cover story." I got up off of Jason-Joker and thought about the cover story.

"That's complete bullsh*t, isn't it?"

"Total BS." Jason-Joker nodded as he stood up and straitened his lime green shirt.

"Well, I guess it's going to have to suffice... Isn't it." I shrugged. This whole conversation hardly bothered me. I couldn't tell if it was from the numbness of the Jason-Joker dynamic or just the fact that I wasn't what you would call a hero. That was bats. I was fifty-fifty mostly, though I refused to kill people. The thought was abhorrent to me.

I trailed after Jason-Joker and observed him fish Harley's cell phone from between the couch cushions. He was scrolling the little circular ball that was placed in the upper center of the keyboard.

"Aha!" He said and held down the little green button.

"Who are you calling?" I asked a little shocked.

He responded by putting the phone up to his ear and putting a long pale finger over his Cupid's bow lips that were carved into a permanent smile. The smile that a man who he trusted put on his face. I thought, feeling slightly sickened by the way he received his famous scars.

Jason-joker turned away from me and walked over to the wall of window. And pushed open the paneled one.

He jumped a little, and started to talk animatedly.

"Hiya bats!" There was a short pause. You could almost hear Bruce shouting from where I was standing. "No. Harley is fine- sort of. I was trying to take a shower and she kinda walked in on it and your favorite kitten-" He turned and winked at me "- also decided to show up. Well all that is technicalities. Anyway, Harley is kindableedingoutfromherheado nthebathroomfloorandyoureall yshouldcomecheckherout." He spilled out the words. "Yeah. Yeah. She needs probably six or seven stitches." He paused again. Pulling the phone away from his ear a bit. "Bats, don't be absurd. I will be long gone by the time you even dream of-" "- oh. You're almost here?! Well I better get going. Bye bye bats!"

Suddenly Jason-Joker whirls and sprints over to me. He slips the cell phone in my shirt and envelops me into a rib crushing... Sort of hug thing.

"Keep her safe please. You've done a marvelous job without me for the past ten years... All I am asking for is a couple more weeks of that care and I will dissentangle myself from your lives permanently. I swear." And that's when I heard the click of handcuffs and cold metal bite at the skin of my wrist. Then I was being carted to the kitchen where he latched the other side to the oven.

"So sorry, kit-Kat." He bowed low and went a full gallop out the open glass window pane.

%Harley Quinn%

I awoke to a sharp stabbing pain in my scalp.

My eyes fluttered open and I let out an unadulterated scream of pure fear.

"Harleen, please calm down. You're going to be alright. I promise." Then I recognized the figure above me as Batman.

"Wh-what's going on? Why are you here?" I questioned. I moved to sit up but felt a sharp pain in my stomach and it jolted down my thigh. I grimaced and the past few weeks suddenly flooded back into my memory.

Batman looked at me intently, and squinted his eyes a bit.

"Harleen..." Batman started cautiously. "Don't you remember what happened?"

"Yes...?"

I didn't want to explain. I didn't know how much Selina knew, hell, I didn't know how much Selina explained.

"Then you should know that you have a pretty nice sized gash on the back of your head."

"Hm. Yes. That would make sense."

Batman did not reply, he just went back to working on my head wound.

When the stitches were complete Batman left the bathroom and instructed me to get in the shower and rinse off all the dried blood that was caked into my hair. I agreed, and he stepped out.

I started to strip off my ruined underwear, tossing them in the corner.

As I stood under the lukewarm water I started to think about my life, a subject that I mostly tried to avoid at all costs, but this time I couldn't control myself.

Little flashes flew in front of my closed eyes as I stood under the water; Meeting Batman for the first time, along with his impressive car.  
Joker sitting Indian-style on top of the metal table in the interview rooms, egging me on, teasing me.  
The black rose with the mysterious photograph from my past attached to it.  
Jack's face set in a hard unsatisfied line, him hovered over me, attempting to overpower me.  
Selina's shortened hair.  
Joker teasing me about how short I was compared to him.  
The voice mail machine playing the threatening message Jack sent to me.  
Selina smashing said voice mail machine onto the ground.  
Joker kissing me.  
Jack- or rather- The Creeper breaking into the apartment and slicing his long carving blade into my stomach and leg.  
Bruce Wayne's mansion, and all of it's accommodations.  
Alfred Pennysworth.  
Me trying to sleep while fighting away the nightmares of Jack.  
The police interview.  
My return to Selina's apartment.  
Joker breaking in, and using the shower.  
Me in the shower, with Joker, hiding from Selina.  
My head smacking into the tub,  
and darkness, soul-sucking, darkness.

Then I tried to do something I have only tried to to once before.

I tried to remember the past.

Before I could make myself go into a calm enough state, a fist started to bang against the bathroom door. I rolled my eyes at Selina's voice calling to me from the other side of the door.

"What do you need Selina?" I questioned, turning the faucet off and slipping out of the tub.

"I am bringing you a towel and some pj's. Can I come in?" I nodded to myself and told her to come in.

She stuck her hand in first and gave me a red towel to wrap around myself.

When I had it firmly secured around my body I told Selina it was safe to come in.

When I saw Selina's face it was like a rush of relief, a familiar face of a long time-friend. I did the only sensible thing. I sat down hard on the lip of the tub and began to sob.

"Aw, honey, I know. It's all so confusing. I feel so bad that I can't help... you know what we should do?" She came and sat down by me and rubbed my back.

"What?" I sniffled a little and leaned against her shoulder.

"We should go get drunk." I began to laugh at this.

"You know I don't drink, Selina."

"You used to, but ever since your epic hangover in the church wine cellar that one time, you never took another sip of alcohol." I knitted my eyebrows together and wiped the tears from under my eyes with my index fingers. Whenever Selina said things like this, things that didn't make sense to me, or things that were references to our past shenanigans, I usually drew a huge blank.

But this time it was different.

I had a memory to accompany this one.

~

My surroundings were clouded, like I was looking at the world without my glasses on or contacts in. I suddenly felt a mouth on mine, warm and familiar.

"Ew! Get a room you two! Selia in the room!" then the lips that were on mine we gone. I whimpered slightly.

"C'mon Kit-Kat. This is not the first time you've seen me kiss Harley." A voice that yanked at the back of my memory shot back at a much younger Selina. This Selina was considerably younger with long hair that reached her shoulders. She was laying on the ground with a bottle of unmarked wine sticking out of her mouth.

"Yeah, but this is the first time I've seen you with your hands up her shirt! Harley is clearly passed out with her eyes open. Keep it in your pants, Jason!" That's when I noticed a warm hand tracing patterns on my stomach.

"I'm n't passed owt. I have mah eyes open, dimwit. People aren't passed owt with thur eyes open." I heard myself slur.

The boy- Jason- and Selina started to laugh.

"Whaa...?" I questioned.

"I think it is time for bed, Harls. You are completely hammered." I felt a tap on my nose.

"Mmhmm. Kay..." I shut my eyes and hear a clank on the concrete floor.

"Selina, you keep the keys safe. I think we will be needing them again." I heard a magical laugh, that I knew I loved and I was out like a light.

~


	15. Chapter 15

*Joker*

Drama. That is what followed women. Drama. I didn't particularity like drama. I liked chaos better.

I nodded my head to the beat of a song inside my head as I sat on top of Wayne Enterprises' roof. Stupid rich boy's security was awfully easy to hack into. One trip to Ed and I was in. That man loved his riddles. I had to get through five to get what I wanted, which was the damn code.

Sometimes- no, most of the time- I just felt like sitting on rooftops with my legs dangling off the edge. The great thing was that every time I did, I always got a delightful in the pit of my stomach, and each time it happened. The high was almost as good as getting drunk- which I rarely did, it wasn't a good idea being drunk while in the middle of a master scheme- or doing recreational drugs- which I also rarely did. Being a stoner or a crack head is not something that I wanted to be labeled as.  
What I wanted to be labeled as was the Joker, Clown Prince of Crime, mass murderer, and expert criminal mastermind.  
I already achieved that.  
What could I achieve next?

I didn't have many desires out of life. Well, I had one. That was to cause chaos. I haven't caused much chaos in the past month, Bats did a good job of putting a stop to that from happening.  
Weather he realizes it or not, putting me into Arkham Asylum this past time really put up a wall in front of my plans.  
Meeting Harley again was not something that I planned on doing,_ever._But, hey, the ride was fun while it lasted wasn't it? The hallucinations left me alone and I could control the floodgate of memories. Even though the last time I saw her was last night- it was very distant to me. I made a promise to Selina, and my keeping it, she could consider repayment for the favor I had her do for me all those years ago.

Selina wasn't all that bad, I mused. Though I do recall a time when she foolishly tried to break into my warehouse and I almost slit the little kitten's throat for it. She didn't seem to remember that little encounter, but she seemed more like an in-the-moment kinda girl- who drank far too much for her own good. I wondered how she hasn't died of kidney or liver failure yet... probably due to her relationship with Poison Ivy. I wasn't so sure how much I liked that girl. She was green. and a plant. She also got pretty scary, especially when it came to her "babies" which meant every single damn piece of grass. Sometimes I questioned her sanity. She was like some sort of environmentalistplant green vixen from hell. With flaming red hair. Did I forget to mention she was nude?

Did I also forget to mention that she was an orphanage brat too? Yup. Pamela tomato-face Isely. She also liked plants back then too. But she wasn't as hot as she was now, nor was she green.

A lot of the people from the Orphanage ended up as villains, or therapists. Go figure.

Though it was Harley's plan all along to be a therapist. I still can't quite figure that one out. She always seemed more of the type to go and be an author or something like that. She always had an active imagination... and a beautiful smile...

Stop.

_No_.

I cannot start thinking about Harley again. She doesn't matter. Well- at least anymore she doesn't. Or she shouldn't. Oh but god, she _does_.

She matters one helluva lot.

While all caught up in my thoughts I did not notice the crunch of shoes against the gravel pellets on the rooftop. I did not notice the low voice, humming along to "All I Ask of You" from the Phantom of the Opera. I did not notice the ruffle of fabric against the nighttime wind as a hand reached into it's pocket and pulled out a small weapon.

Two prongs hit me squarely in the back. I fell backward and began to convulse as I felt the hundreds, if not thousands, of volts of electricity seize my body.

When the spasms stopped I let out a roar or anger and turned onto my stomach, reaching to the cords that attached themselves to my back and ripped them out.

I lifted my gaze to meet the eyes of my adversary.

When I met his muddy brown eyes, I almost broke a rib, I was laughing so hard.

"You've _got_ to be _fu*king_ _kidding_ me." I said between my gulps for air.

%Harley Quinn%

More and more memories wracked my brain as Selina drug me around the fashion district of Gotham. Bruce accompanied us and I stayed back with him.

"Bruce... have you ever thought you remembered something but then it ended up being your imagination?" I asked cautiously.

"Nope. I don't think so. Why do you ask?" He looks down on me with soft blue eyes.

"I dunno. Just thinking about one of my patients." I lie, rubbing my hands together to keep them warm as Selina flitted into another store with expensive looking close in the window.

Bruce walked ahead of me and swung open the glass door, a bell tinkling.

"Thanks." I murmur as I walk through the threshold.

A myriad of smells mixed in the air around me. It wasn't unpleasant, but it just reminded me of what an old lady's closet would smell like.

I walked down one isle and stared at the long counter that was made out of glass, shining jewelry was in the case, the rings and necklaces were set into black velvet compartments. I saw a sparkling ring and a twang of distaste runs through me. It is the ring that Jack proposed to me with, and if it isn't the same one, mine looked exactly like it. I turned away from the counter and attempted to make my way over to where I saw Selina rummaging around in the racks.

As I weave my way through the racks of clothes I suddenly stop in my tracks. On a mannequin was an outfit that struck me right in my heart. It was only a lime green shirt with a light orange vest over it paired with black skinny jeans, but it flung me deep into another memory.

I awaken in a hot sweat. Warm sunlight bathed the once dark tent in light. Jason's arm is draped over me. The black tent did nothing to protect us from the heat- the heat that was unnatural for November first-, and then there was the fact that I was tangled all up in a big quilt blanket, Jason being stuck with the thin white sheet... lucky.

I shove his arm off of me, knowing that wouldn't wake him up. When Jason slept, he _slept_.

I disentangled myself from the cocoon of a blanket, and crawled over to the pile of clothes near the corner of the tent and started to redress myself in his favorite outfit on me- a long sleeved lime green shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans that were rather difficult to get on in this confined place.

My stomach clenches. Heat creeps up my neck and I knew it turned my face bright crimson without even looking at myself in the mirror.

I gulp. Now I _have_ to figure out who this Jason boy is.

*Joker*

I had Jack pinned against the side of the tall power box on the rooftop of Wayne Enterprises. He was smiling a greasy sort of smile at me. A smile that made me sick to even look at him. I ground my teeth together and smiled at him dangerously, thinking about all of the terrible things I could do to him.

"So, Jackie-poo. What brings you here?" I cock my head and pull my favorite knife- a switchblade with an ivory handle and a razor sharp, zigzag metal blade- out of my pocket, and switch it against his throat.

"You, Joker. You bring me here." His eyes squint behind the neon colored shutter sunglasses.

"Ha, no. I don't even like you, Jack. You are like a huge ball of fu*ked-up-ed-ness. You are more warped than I am."

"Why do you say that, Joker? You and I used to be friends..." He pouted out his lips.

"The key phrase in that sentence is _used to_, as in _past_. We stopped being friends when you drugged me and gave me a lovely scar to add to my collection." That's why I couldn't help but flinch when I found out what Jack did. He did it once, to me, and now to _my_... well not _my_... Harley.

"But... I remember it like this; you are crazy. You'll self harm at a moment's notice. You're also a homicidal maniac who kills his therapists by hiring people who look like their loved ones to ultimately kill them... by them hanging themselves... then after that deed is done you go back and give them a scar _to match_ yours... But you got sloppy with Harley... Just cut her open without making her hang herself... you dressed up as me... you made her believe it was me... didn't you... Jason?" My jaw went slack, but I clenched it closed before I could let it fall open. I pressed the blade harder into his flesh.

"Or at least, that's what I told the police."

"Don't _ever_ call me that, and don't _ever_ accuse me of something I didn't do, and _don't you dare EVER_ accuse me of hurting _my_ Harley." My voice went all husky, like I was running out of room to breathe, like I didn't have any air to breathe.

"It's really adorable that you call her _your_ Harley, _Jason_. She never was yours. She was only ever mine. You left her. I filled the hole in her heart, replaced you in her memories. You never loved her. You never will. Not like I love her."

I flip the switchblade back into itself and put it back into my pocket. I take a fist full of his dirty, brown hair and slam his head into the metal.

"What- did- you-just-say?"

"What? Part about me filling the hole? Or that _you never loved her_?" His words twirled around in my brain. I smacked his head into the box four more times, his skull starting to make a dent in the thin metal.

"You know. You're just like your father. His name was Jason too, wasn't it?" Anger took over and I hit his head five times more, then throwing him to the ground.

"He said he loved your mom, too ya know. Kimberly...? She was a real nice lady... was best friends with my mom for the longest time, said the biggest regret in her life was giving up _you_. It was a damn shame when your daddio killed her. That's what happens to you, isn't it? The women in your life just... end up dead. I wonder how Harley will go... maybe you'll go super nutty and kill her yourself? Maybe she dies _for_ you. Maybe she dies _with_ you. Ha. All I know is that girl has a death mark on her, and honey, I'm the grim reaper." I couldn't take being silent anymore.

"You listen here, _Jack_. Nobody, and I mean it when I say _nobody_ has loved Harley as much as I love her. I have loved her for a thousand years, and I will love her for a thousand more if that's what it takes for her to love me back!" I picked up the limp Jack Ryder and drug him over to the edge of the _very_ tall building and kicked him over the edge. I heard a satisfying thud as I heard his body smack into the scaffolding. He wouldn't be dead, but he would be in a helluva lot of pain. Though the pain was nowhere near the pain he had just caused me. I didn't know how he knew about my past lives, but hopefully he wouldn't be remembering much by the time I was _really_ done with him.

Jack Ryder, prepare to be number one on Joker's enemy list, the ride is going to be very, _very_ fun.

%Harley Quinn%

I finally made it past the green shirt and black pants and to Selina, who was leaning with her ear to Bruce's mouth wide-eyed. I didn't want to know what they were talking about.

"Harley! Come here a minute." Selina beckons me with her index finger.

I walk over her weaving through the clothes, careful not to look at them.

"Yeah...?" I question.

"Bruce needs to go. There was a break-in at his company."

"Oh, well, that's unfortunate... It was nice spending some time with you Bruce." I say politely.

"Same to you, Harley." Bruce leans in and kisses Selina chastely on the cheek and hurries out the door. Selina was totally staring at his ass.

"Wanna get out of here?" Selina turns to me.

I go to say no, knowing what she wants to do- go drinking- but change my mind.

"Sure, Selina." I shrug.

"Aw please- wait. Did you just say yes?"

"Yes I did. Let's go."

"But you hate going out drinking." Selina raises an eyebrow.

"At least it's better than shopping." I put on a sour face, showing my distaste for mall-crawling.

"Alright! Let's get on with it!" Selina pumps her fists in the air and grabs me around the shoulders.

"An' so I says to him 'No way am I goin' to tha' party. All them people ther' are sko-shul... Um... Sooshull... Ugh... Rich people.' An' tha' was tha'." Selina was totally smashed by now. She was already in the telling out of context stories phase, and it was well past midnight. It was time to ask questions.

"So, Selina, I have a question for you."

"Whassat?" She slurs.

"I was wondering if you could tell me anyth-" my phone began to buzz in my boot. "Hang on one second, Selina."

"Okay! I'm hangin' on!" Selina slides off the chair and wraps her arms around my leg.

I reach down my leg between selina's arms and pull the phone out and hit the answer button before looking at the ID.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hello, is this Harleen F. Quinzel?" A strong male voice asks.

"Yes... May I ask who is calling?"

"Sorry, Ma'm. This is Doctor Cornelius Randson. I am sorry to inform, but your Fiancée, Jackson Ryder, was found tonight on the scaffolding of Wayne Enterprises. He appears to have fallen in an attempt at suicide, we have put him on suicide watch." So he broke in, the freak.

"What? That can't be possible. He was in police cusdoty. You must have the wrong Jack."

"Well, I really don't know about that, Miss. But what I do know is, is that Jack is in a very serious state. He requests to see you, and right now it seems like you should make and effort to come and see him."

"So, wait. Jack is in a very serious state but he requests my presence? That makes no sence whatsoever." I say pointing out the obvious holes in the doctor's statement.

"His only request before he was knocked out was a request to see you."

"Well, his requests aren't going to be met. I am not coming all the way out there to make Jack's dreams come true. Now, doctor, I'm sorry but I have to go now. Goodbye." I hung up the phone before his reply and shoved it back into my boot. Jack is so infuriating. He should just leave me alone.

I did a double take at my legs, Selina was nowhere in sight. I looked over at the bartender.

"Excuse me, did you see where the woman I was just with went?"

He stopped scrubbing the beer mug to point to a booth that was in the back. His round stomach bounced as he laughed.

I whipped my head around and saw Selina on the lap of a strange man, and when I say strange I mean it he was wearing a dark green suit with a matching bowler hat. Both of them were matching and had question marks all over it. I stride over to her and rip her shoulders away from him.

"Selina! What do you think you're doing?!" I whisper-yelled.

"Hav'n a little fun. You should try it sumtime." She leans back into the guy and I pull her off his lap.

"C'mon Selina. You have a boyfriend!" I chasten.

"Woah, woah, what?" The guy asks.

"Yeah, beat it, dude." I say.

"Yeah, I'm out." He slides out of the booth and exits the bar.

I turn to Selina, who was sitting on the table pouting.

"Who the hell was that?"

"An old friend, God, Harley." She rolls her eyes distastefully.

"Jesus, don't sound so displeased. Lets just go." I see Selina pull the car keys out of her leather jacket pocket and I rip them away.

"Nuh-uh. I'm driving."

After much protest on Selina's part and me practically carrying her ass out of the bar, we were finally on our way home.

I twisted the volume up on the radio and a familiar song began to play;

_-runnin till we outta time wild child, lookin good, livin hard just like we should. Don't care who's watchin when we tearin it up, that magic that we got, nobody can touch. Lookin for some trouble tonight, take my hand I'll show you the wild side. Like its the last night of our-_

A high keening sounds off and the DJ comes back on air.

"Sorry, folks, a mandatory report from the Gotham City Police Department has been released. Let me turn over to Vicki Vale who is interviewing Commisioner Gordon at this moment."

"F-for those who are just tuning in, this is an interview with GCPD commissioner Gordon. C-commissioner, is it true that Joker has escaped?" Saddened emotions were plain in Vicki's voice. It made me sick.

"Yes, Miss Vale, according to our informants at Arkham Asylum he has been on the loose for close to two weeks. Tonight's uproar came when, your colleague, Jack Ryder was thrown off the roof by Joker. We aren't at liberty to release too much information, but it is suspected that this happened because of the Joker's involvement in another pending case."

"Th-thank you f-for your time, Commissioner!" Vicki was obviously crying into the mic, to hell if I knew why.

I turned the radio in the car all the way down and flipped an illegal U-turn, getting several honks directed at me.

"Hang on, Selina. We are going to the hospital."

"Wait! Am I okay?!" She began to slap all over herself checking for wounds.

"Yeah. You are. Just go back to sleep."

I needed to confirm first hand from jack if it was Joker who threw him off the building...

because I needed someone to thank.


	16. Chapter 16

/Jack Ryder/

I groaned. I tried to move my arm. I groaned again.

I repeated the process with both of my legs, and got the same result. Pain.

Things weren't broken. Just amazingly sore.

I opened my eyes and was meet by a dazzling blinding light. I blinked a few times and looked to my right. She was here.

"Hello Jack, how are you feeling?" She says sweetly.

"I'm fine. Why am I in a hospital?" I snap.

"You were pushed off a building! Oh my god, I was so worried about you. I did a report on it and everything. Do you remember Joker pushing you off?" Her blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"Of course I remember. It isn't something I will soon forget."

"Jack... I have a question for you..." she starts.

"Shoot."

"Why is Harley in the waiting room... I thought you said you didn't love her anymore."

"I did say that. But I guess she was called when they brought me in after my fall."  
"Would you do me a favor, Vicki, and send her away?" I say sweetly.

"Oh sure, Jack! I love you so much!" She squeezes my hand and exits my room.

"Vale! Get the hell out of my way! I am not afraid of ripping those rediculous silver hoops out of your ear lobes to move you!" Harley screams, I heard Vicki make a sort of squeal noise as Harley slams through the door.

"You..." Harley starts.

"Nice to see you too, sweetheart." I raise my eyebrows. She stops at the end of my bed and grips her hands on the rail.

"Why the hell was I called here, why the hell are you out of cusdoty, and why _the hell_ is Vicki Vale here?"

"You must be my primary emergency contact, because I was released, and Harley, meet Vicki Vale, my new girlfriend." I didn't want to tell her that I requested her presence so I could finish off the job I had started. Nobody would suspect a barely conscious hospital patient of murder.

"What the f*ck? _She's_ your girlfriend? Oh my god, jack you have no taste."

"Oh well, that's what you say. Now, you're upsetting me. You should leave, it simply is in everyone's best interests."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... one question. Joker did this to you, correct?"

"Yes... why does it matter?"

She smiled dangerously, I had no idea one smile from such a dainty woman could look so laced with malice.

"Bye Jack."

*Joker*

I banged through the entrance of my warehouse. Sitting around a round table with chairs of different styles playing poker, were six henchmen.

One in a black t-shirt and jeans with holes in them spoke,

"You're back... we didn't know when-"

"Oh shut _up_. _Please_." I said dismissively.

"Where is Bobby. I need to talk to _him_." I add.

"Two-Face's crew raided the warehouse last night." Dammit, Two-Face. I really hate you.

One man tattoos of flames up his arms spoke next. His skin tone was a light olive and his eyes a light hazel color. His hair was dark brown and slicked back into a duck tail. "Bobby was the only casualty."

"So you're telling me that Bobby is dead?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, good. That means that I won't have to kill him myself." I smirk. I wanted to torture somebody today. Looks like it wasn't gonna be Bobby.

"What's your name." I cock my head to the side and look at the tattooed henchman.

"Sam." The name sparked a memory of a younger me chasing a boy around the orphanage that I burnt to dust.

"What was your past like, Sam?" I questioned, placing my hands on my hips.

"I was in an orphanage. Got adopted. Became a rebellious teenager, they disowned me. Been on the street ever since." He sad without hesitation.

"Excellent." This _was_ the Sam I thought it was, and even if it wasn't, torturing people was still fun.

"Come with me, Sam."

I closed the door behind me and put the switchblade back in my pocket. Resolving to clean it later.

"Black shirt!" I shout down the hall.

A head pokes around the corner and strides down the hall to me.

"Yes, sir?"

"Congratulations. You get to clean up the mess in there, and dispose of the body. If ya do a good job, you might get to be my new right hand." With that I was weaving down the corridors of the three-story warehouse.

I finally made it to the loft where I slept and kept my things. Blueprints covered the floor. More blueprint paper was on a desk that was in the corner. I went over to it and sat down on the chair staring at a half complete plan to blow up Gotham.

I could still do it. I still wanted to do it. But something was stopping me from doing it.

What?

I don't know. I shook my head.

A green curl flopped in front of my eyes and I smoothed it back. It sprang back in front of my eyes, bringing more bangs with it, and I growled distastefully.

As attractive as I thought shaggy hair was, especially on me, it had to go. and Now.

I pulled the long scissors with the orange handles out of the mug on the desk and walked over to the large mirror on the wall.

When I was finished cutting it, I looked myself over feeling satisfied with the results.

Instead of the unruly shaggy mess of green waves my hair was now shorter, _much_ shorter, it was... in kind of a faux hawk now.

Not exactly what you would call "professional", but I liked it. and That's all that mattered.

I went back to my desk and resumed my staring. I really did a lot of that. Staring. It wasn't even like I had something to stare at either. I was staring at a pencil right now. My mind started to wander into depths of my past that weren't allowed.

Something about dead eyes got me from the first moment I first saw a pair of them.

My adopted mother's screams haunted me, the sight of her blood, the look of light filled golden eyes- gone dark.

Dead. Never coming back. Ever.

What Zador did to her was sickening. He was supposed to love her. They were supposed to be happy together, forever. Love was supposed to transcend centuries, not die with a slash of the wrist. That day I stopped _truly_ believing in love. That was the day that I gave up on love. That was the day I gave up on myself. That was the day that Jason Johnson died, and Joker was born.

He died slowly. _Painfully_. I made sure of that. If justice wasn't going to bring people's lives, who were like Zador, to an end... Then I decided I'd make sure that they weren't forgotten.

"Please! I've never done anything wrong in my life. I... I don't even know why you are going after me. Joker, please!" I laughed coldly as I traced the tip of his pocket knife up the inside of his leg, pants ripping, blood starting to cling to them.

"You know what I hate above all else in this world, Zador?" I brought the tip of the knife to his throat and poked it into fleshy "V" where his clavicle met his breast bone.

"Wh-what?" He asked breathlessly.

"Liars." I said casually, bringing the blade up to his cheek and carving a smiley face into it.

"B-but I'm-m not l-lying!" He cried out.

"There you go again. Maybe you should keep your mouth shut. It'll make things easier for you." I paused.

"Actually- sorry Zador, that's a lie. It really doesn't make a fu*king difference either way. You deserve every stroke of this knife. After all, I don't really take kindly to wife-killers." I now cut down from the bottom of his wrist to the crook of his elbow. His hands that were bound above his head clenched and released.

"How could you know about that?" Zador suddenly sounded more coherent.

"It's kind of a difficult image to get out of your head." I shrug flicking my wrist, cutting a deep gash on his hip.

Zador squinted his eyes at me. "J-Jason? What the hell?"

"The one and only. Isn't it amazing what one little event can do to fu*k up a person's future? Do you have any idea the things that I have done to be here, finally getting my revenge and Dana's true- and how ever much I hate the word- _justice_."

"Dana was trash. She didn't understand. She was cheating on me, Jas-"

"Joker." I growled

"Joker, she was. She was sleeping with Haymitch Ryder. Or neighbor. You must remember. You must at least remember his son, Jackson, I think?"

"You want to know what I think?" I cut a little slit in the dent above his upper lip.

"I think you are a liar and you were the cheater. Dana was a saint and you are a devil sent from hell to drag her down." I panted, starting to begin my decent into a murder-crazed ramble.

"_She was trash,_ you said. _We don't need her,_ you said. _You should smile more,_ you said. _Let's put a smile on that face, son,_ you said." I stared at his lips breathing hard. I looked intensely into his fear-stricken eyes.

"Why so serious, Zador? Don't you like this game?"

"No." He whispered. I smiled a wide toothy grin.

"Then let's put a smile on that face, like you put one on mine."

"Oh god, no!" He shut his mouth, his teet slamming together. He began to shake in fear.

"Even if there were a god, I don't think he would help someone like you."

"Jason- please, think about what you are doing. Think about your soul."

"Don't talk about souls to me, Zador." I clenched my teeth hard.

"One difference between you and I is that I can recognize that my soul has been long gone." I placed the blade of his knife into his mouth and carve it all the way back until I meet his jaw. I copied the movement to the other side and watched the horror on his face grow.

His lips touched and his tongue flicked inside his mouth, I knew that movement. He was trying to talk.

I laughed.

"Makes it sort of difficult to talk, doesn't it?"

I pressed the blade against his neck and pressed it in with two hands.

"See you in hell, Zador." I flicked it across his neck and plunged the knife into his heart within one flick of my wrist.

"What happened here, Joker?" Batman growled.

"I killed again. Big whoop." I say sarcastically

"Who was he... if you even knew."

"I didn't know him." I lie.

"I suppose you're going to run now?" He asks expectantly.

"Pretty much."

and I was gone. Never to face that again.

"Sir. Sir!" Someone was shaking my shoulder.

"Sir! Please wake up-"

I was out of my chair and had the henchman pinned against the wall. I had a pair of scissors in my hand, and pressed into his left pectoral.

"What do you want?!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but someone is in the warehouse." He flinched as I press the scissors deeper into his flesh.

"_Who_ is in the warehouse?" I seethe.

"Well, I don't know, sir, she-"

"Wait, wait, wait, _she_?"

"Yussir. She wants to talk with you."

"What did you do? Did you restrain her?"

"Um, well, no."

"What are you doing here waking me up, then?!"

"I already told you! She would like to speak with you."

"I'm sorry... Is it just me or did you just shout at me?" I say incredulously.

"Um- I'm sorry sir-"

"I bet you are..." I brought the pair of scissors off his chest and shifted my hand so they plunged into his throat.

%Harley Quinn%

"Hey! Hands off, buddy!" I rip my arm away from the thug and walk on my own down the cold hallway to the illuminated room. When I took the final steps in the hall and turned to face the room, I felt like puking.

The room was obviously painted white originally, but now there were crimson spatters all over ones that were dried, an some that were fresh. It pooled next to a single wooden chair in the center and ran in streaks into the drain. I looked down and at my feet there was a black body bag with a long tattooed arm lazily hanging out of one the unzipped sides. Inside the room were three other men, each of them brandishing a weapon.

Suddenly, this didn't situation didn't seem too good for me.

"C'mere, honey. Lemme rip you apart."

"Yeah, come on, sweets, we just wanna play."

"In with ya." I felt a shove on my back and I had to make an awkward hop over the body bag to make sure I didn't fall on my face.

I did anyway.

The men all started making comments that I tried to ignore, they were just razzing me. They all were emotionally weak, I could tell that much. They were making feeble attempts at psyching me out.

To hell with that, I am a psychologist... not a very good one... but one none the less.

Self defense... c'mon... kick in...

Then an unknown force upon my mind seized my senses. I stood up abruptly and grabbed the bat that was on its way to my stomach. I took it by it's front and shoved the end into the first henchman's stomach, casing him to stagger backward. I flipped the bat around and knocked him once in his side. He fell sideways onto the concrete floor and I heard a satisfying crunch as bone met concrete.

Next, I heard the click of a gun being cocked. I whirled and before my eyes saw the gun I was hitting it out of the second man's hand. It hit the floor and wet off, hitting the third henchman in the foot. I seized the opportunity and swung once at the second and hit him squarely in the face, he went down. Two down, two to go.

I felt two strong arms slink around my waist and my heart began to pump in overdrive. I flung my head backwards, hitting the fourth in the face, feeling the cartilage and bone of his nose break. He dropped me onto my feet and I quickly swung around and jabbed the bat into his groin. He fell next.

The third, the one who was shot in the foot swiped his leg and I was falling sideways. I caught myself on the bat and slid across the blood-slick floor and grabbed the gun and without a second thought, shot the Third in the chest his knife clanked to the floor and he made a strange gurgling noise before he slumped to the ground.

Four out of four, at least two dead; yet I felt no remorse.

I heard slow, sarcastic, applause coming from the doorway. I dropped the weapons and spun around.

"My god, I honestly don't believe my own eyes." Joker said, sounding quite amazed.

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-" He held up a finger signaling me to shut up.

"My dear, I was in need of new henchmen anyway. You have just saved me the trouble of getting rig of two of them, by the looks of it."

"I was about to restrain you myself after you took down the first one, but frankly, I was a little scared that I was going to get shot. Are you normally this good in combat?" His eyes twinkled.

"I..." He waved his hand, dismissing my feeble attempt at an answer.

"Never Mind. I just have one question." He smiles fiendishly.

"Yeah...?" I say cautiously.

"Do you trust me?" He walks into the room and puts a hand out to me.

"Not really." I answer honestly. I look up into his eyes. He smiles and seizes my hand.

"Well, what we're about to do doesn't exactly mean that you have to trust me."

and With that I was being dragged out into the night, mentally preparing myself for whatever Joker and I were about to do.


	17. Chapter 17

%Harley Quinn%

"I don't know how to drive stick." I say flatly, eyeing inside the car warily.

Joker rolled his eyes at me, leaning on the open door, "'Course ya do."

"I really don't-" I laugh shakily at myself "- I didn't even have a driver's license until four years ago... that was one helluva process.."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I didn't have a proper birth certificate when I went to the DMV. Got burned in some sort of dormitory fire- at least that's what Jack told me." Joker gave me a puzzled look.

"Shouldn't you be able to decide that for yourself? I mean- shouldn't you be able to remember a fire that caused so much trouble for you?"

"That's the problem, isn't it? I should- " I slide into the driver's seat and slam the door "- but I can't." I said more to myself more than anyone else.

Joker swung open the door on the side opposite and slid in while chuckling under his breath. "You know what I love?"

"What?" I say wrapping my hands over the steering wheel, clutching it so hard that the skin on my knuckles were turning white.

"I love that you are sitting in the drivers seat regardless of your skills with the stick shift." He says with the quirk of an eyebrow.

"D'you wanna switch?" I ask relaxing my hands.

"Nah, I'll just teach you."

"You'll... what?" _Oh damn. Not here, not now..._

"Teach you? Which word are you having troubles with? Teach or _you_?"

But I wasn't listening anymore; I was starting to remember- and something that has been long since forgotten.

I sat on the floor with my head in Selina's lap. She was twirling my hair in her fingers as I cried; It was a feeling that was something of a comfort to me- Jason always would do that when I was nervous or scared, and at the moment I was both.

"Harley, Harley... Jason will be okay. He just got knocked out... the doctors will be able to fix him. He'll be fine. He'll be fine." She cooed in my ear.

"It's all my fault! If I would have just listened to the damn driving lessons he was giving me-" I balled up my fists in anger "- instead of fantasizing about making out with him I would've never wrecked the car!" I wailed.

"It's going to be _alright_. It isn't your fault. Anyone who looks at Jason just wants to make out with him. If anything it's your own fault for being too damn cute, and catching his eye." Selina rationalized.

Selina slipped her hands under my arms and pulled me into her lap and onto the couch in the gray-on-gray waiting room in the lobby of Gotham General Hospital. I scooted up so that I was laying on the couch with my legs dangling over Selina's lap. I flung my arm over my eyes dramatically.

"He's going to be totally fine. I've gotten worse injuries falling out of a tree- remember when I was twelve and I tried to climb up that really uber tall tree in the schoolyard and fell out, broke my arm, knocked myself _and_ Joesph out because I fell on him?" Selina said playing with the hem of my pants.

"Oh my god, was that hilarious! Well, it would have been funnier if you didn't fall out and break your arm, Kit-kat." I heard the voice that was like air to me- the voice that I was praying to hear again- and flung my arm from over my eyes.

"Jason! Oh my goodness! Are you okay? I'm _so_ sorry!" I flung myself off of the couch and into his arms. "I should have listened to you- I am so awful with stick shifts, you got hurt! I'm so, so, _so,_ Sorry! I will never ever, e_ver_, forgive myself!" I was sobbing now staining his green t-shirt with tear marks.

"Whoa, whoa! Cool your tits, woman. I am completely fine. If I wasn't, well, I wouldn't be here letting you snot on my shirt. I would be in the morgue, okay? So calm down."

"I guess so... Rather a crude way to tell me that you're fine... but thats you. Also, _cool_ my _tits_? Seriously?" Selina laughed in the background.

"Yes, seriously. Now look at me. I wanna see your beautiful face." Jason said sickeningly sweet-like. I shoved my face harder into his chest, knowing that my face was not beautiful right now.

"Oh, come now Harley. Just let me look at you."

I heaved a sigh, knowing that if I didn't relent Jason would just do what he pleased. I tipped my head back and looked into his bright green eyes, alive with plans of possible- and upcoming- adventures...

In the present, my head snapped over to where Joker sat playing with one of his switchblades, flicking the sharp end in and out. His bight, mischievous eyes fixed on me.

A pair of bright green eyes that were now disturbingly, hauntingly, familiar to me.

I gulped. "Whatcha you doin'?" I ask, my voice sounding vulnerable and hoarse.

"Playing with knives, while you mumble to yourself about some boy named Jason." Joker wiggled in his chair "Whose he?"

"Nobody. Just a figment of my imagination." I say distastefully.

*Joker*

God. Damn. It.

Why can't she just _get it_ already?

It isn't like it's that hard to remember. It was only like, ten years ago.

"Get out." I say plainly.

"What? Was that the wrong answer?"

"Yes. Get out."

"Why should I?" Harley says stubbornly.

"Because I have twenty eight knives,o ne razor blade, and I think a potato peeler in different places on me right now." I shrug my shoulders.

"You wouldn't cut me."

I thought for a minute about that sentence. "Interesting, you didn't say that I wouldn't hurt you. Just that I wouldn't cut you. Why?"

"Who's the psychologist now?"

"Still you. Answer the question."

"Because there are a lot more things you can do to me besides physical harm to hurt me."

"Like what?"

"Push me away." Harley says averting her eyes.

"Now why would I push you away?"

"You already have."

"I only told you to get out because I want to drive. I don't want you wrecking my brand new car." I lie.

Harley misses a beat in our banter, tugging on a strand of her hair and twirling it nervously in her fingers.

"Harley."

"Yes?"

"Why did you come to the warehouse in the first place?"

Her crystal like blue eyes fill with tears.

"I-I don't know, I think... I think the original plan was that I wanted to thank you for dealing with Jack."

I opened my mouth to say something, but was cut off by a scraping noise coming from the drivers seat of the car, followed by seven quick raps on the window.

I made a growling noise low in my throat. I could aredy tell who was on the other side without even looking through the tinted windows.

"_Eddie._" I hissed between clenched teeth. "Drive, drive, drive!" I command Harley.

She fumbles with the controls for a moment, then she revs the engine.

She turns her head over to me, with a triumphant look about her, as the driver window starts to roll down and the engine stalls. Shoulda guessed.

"You know, I wasn't quite sure that this was your car, Joker. But the electric yellow with purple and green smiley faces really did it in for me- y'know, along with all the other factors. Such as it being in the front parking lot ofyour _extremely_ infamous warehouse, the lisence plate that reads S-l- -r-M-c-n, and the little bit of blue tarp that is soaked with blood hanging out of this-" Eddie paused and rubbed his long question-mark shaped cane along the side of the BMW. "-impressive specimine of a car's trunk." Eddie poked his head into the cab of the two seater sports car, looking extremely pleased with himself. He wore a pair of green tinted rectangle glasses and you could see the beginnings of a lime green dress shirt with yellow question marks patterned on the wrinkled fabric.

"Well, I _am_ the Joker. I put the laughter in slaughter." I expected Ed to laugh at that one; but instead he scooted his glasses to the bride of his nose and was flicking his chocolate colored eyes between Harley and me. You could almost hear his thought processes. I was sure he had already figured out who she was. Stupid smart people.

"Well, hello gorgeous. What's a dame like you doing hanging around with a crowd like Joker's?"

"I- um- I...?" Harley fumbled over her words, Eddie just laughed.

"It's alright Harleen,-" Eddie pointed his finger at me "- taking your therapist out on a little joyride, are you?"

"I would be, but some big-brained-buffoon has stalled my engine. What're you using now? Eclectric waves? Radioactive lazer beams?" I brought the backs of my hands up to my temples and wiggled my gloved fingers about "Mind voodoo?"

Before Eddie could get one of his smart ass answers in, Harley interrupted.

"How...?" She asked Ed.

"How what? How did I know your name? Know that you are Joker's therapist?" She nodded and swallowed hard.

"Both."

"Simple, really. You've still got your Arkham Asylum badge on. It's got your picture and name. Also, I watch the news and read the paper. You're famous, honey." Ed rolls his eyes and Harley looks at the badge clipped to her shirt. "And besides, a face like yours is one that I wouldn't soon forget."

I tipped my head to the side, looking at Eddie with a severe expression, letting him know that an attempt at trying to talk to Harley about the past would be the last words out of his mouth.

"Oh my... You're the weirdo with the question marks all over his suit from the bar, the one who is Selina's old friend!" Harley exclamed.

"Yes, and you're the bossy friend who ripped me out of a delightful lip lock with the little vixen."

"Oh my god. No way! You actually took my advise? That never happens!" I burst out. Much earlier today, when I called Eddie for help with the security system, he was whining about how his latest attempt at wooing Pammy went horribly awry. Something about a dozen cut roses in a bouquet really bugged her. Crazy-ass plant lady.

"I went to the bar to drink away my sorrows, when Selina approached me. She was hammered, as she usually is when it's Friday night, and it just kinda happened. Then this little bombshell blonde comes over and breaks it up, telling me that Selina's got a boyfriend. Not messing with that." Eddie shook his head.

"Yeah, her boyfriend is Bruce Wayne." Harley added in matter-of-fact sort of tone.

"Fuck!" Ed exclaimed, making Harley jump. "No kidding?" He ran his hands through his short brown hair, a manic sort of cheek splitting grin appearing on his face.

"No kidding... Why does that matter?"

"I've been testing a little theory about that man, and this will be my perfect opportunity! Hell to the yes!" He yelled, pulling his head out of the car and pumping his fists in the air.

"That's fantastic, Ed. But why exactly are you here right now? What do you want?" I ask impatiently.

"Oh, that. Riddle me this my dearest pal- a certain freak who's name rhymes with fat-can has been tailing me for the past two hours I wanted a distraction from my impending capture." Eddie grinned as I subdued the urge to murder him in a slow and tortuous manner.

"Harley." I half growled.

"Yes." She said looking at me with what I catigorized as thereputic concern. Damn therapists.

"You better drive now, unless you honestly want Bats to catch you in the drivers seat of a mass murders car, talking to him casually while another notorious villain is leaning in the window plotting with first mentioned villain, while you sit calmly participating."

"Yeah... That probably won't look very good. Would it?" Harley asks meekly.

"Okay, okay. I know that face, you look like you're going to murder me. I think it's time for me to go! Goodbye BFF!" BFF. _Psh. _

Ed backed away from the door, picking up his his cane with a bowler hat hung on top of it.

The window suddenly rolled up, and the engine roared.

"Okay, Harley, you pull on that little stick-"

"I suddenly remember how to drive one of these." Harley says clutching the stick, jamming it into first gear and slamming her foot down on the gas.

+Bruce Wayne/Batman+

After dealing with the Jack Ryder and Joker on the roof of Wayne enterprises having a row with each other, I had more problems to deal with, how i had ever expected anything else escapes me. Alfred said that it was some completely random line of computer code that allowed access to the rooftop. I knew who it was instantly.

This wouldn't have been the first time Edward Nygma and the Joker had worked together, but it was the first time I was successfully able to track down Riddler and let him lead me straight to Joker.

As I sat, perched atop- what I presumed was Joker'a latest hideaway- I strained to listen to the conversation going on below me. It sounded like it was between joker, riddler, and a female voice that I couldn't place.

While listening, I felt myself jump a little bit when the low murmurs stopped after Riddler suddenly exclaimed "Fuck!", then stuck his head further into the car and pulled completely out and pumped his fists in the air, and went back in murmuring back again to Joker.

Less than a minute later Riddler was backing away from the driver's seat just in time- as the long electric yellow BMW revved its engine and sped off, easily making it from zero to seventy in half of a second.

Swooping down to the ground I landed some feet away from where Riddler stood, twirling his hat on his cane.

"Riddler."

"Oh! Hello Batman! Just the man I wanted to see!" He said, skipping casually over to me.

"You knew..."

"Of course I did. You think that you're all _sneaky sneaky_ but you're really not." He says wagging his finger at me.

"What-" I start.

"-do I want? Oh nothing. I just want to talk to you." I really hate when he does that.

"Talk. Right." More like spew out riddles and watch as I try to solve them.

"I'm not going to give you a whole set of riddles to solve, if that's what you're thinking. I just want to ask you two questions; followed by an apology."

"Proceed..." I say apprehensively.

"Are you Bruce Wayne?"

"Of course not." This answer was natural. Don't let the villains know who you are. Ever.

Riddler quirks an eyebrow. "Why are your eyes blue like his?"

"Blue is a very common eye color, you know." I say sardonically.

He shrugs. "Sorry Batman, but... I made out with Selina Kyle."

Without realizing it, I had pinned Edward Nygma against the side of the warehouse.

"You _did what now?"_

"I just proved who you are, Batman. You're Bruce Wayne."

"N-no I'm not."

"Yes you are. Don't deny it. And don't worry, I won't teeeell."

"That's what you villain folk do, just tell."

"I'm not like any other villain, am I?" He says paying my cheek" "If I told... Then it would never be able to hold it over the others' heads. Understand?"

"I suppo-" Then I feel thousands of volts of electricity shoot through my body; starting from my right jaw and traveling all throught my body.

"Goodnight Brucey! I simply cannot let you take me away. I have much more to do tonight."

And I was out like a light.

*Joker*

"Aw, c'mon Harley! That was a good song!"

"_Joker,_ no. That was Starships by Nicki Minaj. Not- a- good- song."

"You have no taste in music!"

"I do. That's why I don't like this!" Harley whines at me.

"Fine. How about we plug in this-" I pull out an iPhone with a bedazzled zebra case on it. "- and listen to whatever comes on. Okay?"

Harley clenched the steering wheel and nodded her head. Jeez... Someone's pissy today.

And that's when the car died again.

"God damn you _Eddie_!"

"What's going on?"

That's when Eddie's voice came on through the radio station.

"Okay, guys, I need a ride. _So_ just drive back to pier 48 and we'll be good." I rolled my eyes at Ed's tone of complete elation. People shouldn't be allowed to be that happy.

"How're we supposed to come back and _get you_ if the car _is stalled_?" I say, getting exceedingly annoyed with Ed.

The car hummus to life, "Just turn around." And as soon as his voice is there; it's gone and replaced with some boyband song that sounds like it was written by throwing a piano downstairs.

"Should I-" Harley starts.

"Yes. Just do as he says. We aren't going to get rid of him if we don't."

%Harley Quinn%

As I drive, I silently revel in how much I liked the how Joker said _we._ It was almost like I felt normal again.

Which was exceedingly strange because; I was cheuffering around a mass murderer who was carrying more than twenty-five knives, we were about to go and pick up another villain to cart around- regardless that we were in a car that only seated two people-, while listening to One Direction, and I'm pretty sure there were a few dead bodies in the trunk... And I was totally,

completely,

whole-heartedly,

fine,

With it all.


	18. Chapter 18

"Come on, doll. Just tell me who he is. You obviously know. I can see it in your pretty little eyes." He cut deeper and deeper into the fleshiest part of my thigh, and I tried to scream but no sound came out, my back just arched under his crouched position over me.

"Just give in to it. Tell me! Tell me!' I was now sobbing, the tears running from the corners of my eyes and into my hair that was already caked with blood.

"It's already happening, isn't it? You're loosing feeling in your extremities, aren't you?" He laughed a cold and unforgiving laugh. "Makes enough sense. I did aim a little lower than usual. Probably shattered your spine... I guess this just means that you'll die a lot slower. Although it's probably really painful already isn't it? All that glass slicing into your back." I started to sob harder. I knew right where my phone was, I knew exactly the number to press to call Bruce, but I couldn't reach it from the position he was holding me in.

"Okay... Obviously you aren't gonna talk about who batman is. Kay, so if you can't talk about that how's about you tell me how the fuck you managed to hack my network? I had one of the greatest criminal minds ever to grace the streets of Gotham assist me in making a nearly impenetrable server." He clamped the cuffs around my wrist a notch tighter and sliced my collarbone from the base of my neck all the way to my breastbone. "Talk. Now!" He growled.

I turned my face to the side, feeling glass slice into my cheek as my consciousness slipped away.

"Ah-ah-ahhh," He warned, stabbing me in the left arm just enough to hit the nerve. My back tried to arch again, but this time I felt nothing but searing pain from the lower half of my body. I started to splutter out a half-scream half-sob and the tears came out much harder now. He grabbed my face with one hand and turned it so that I was looking at him again. "Can't have you falling asleep, now can we. Talk now or I will leave you to die slowly and painfully." I clamped my lips together and snapped my eyes shut, big tears still streaking down and wetting my hair and face further.

I clenched my teeth and sucked in a breath of air into my burning lungs. "I w-will n... Never t-t-tell y-ou anyth-thing." Another searing pain went through my lower body. I then realized what he was doing; each time I disobeyed he would plunge his blade into the gunshot wound and prod my shattered my spine.

"Fine then, dear Barbara Gordon. Looks like you're going to die the slow and painful way. I do hope you have a nice time with that."

Joker made quick work of taking the handcuffs off, and I had no strength left to move them from above my head. My fingers were cold, my head throbbed from where I had fallen back into the glass coffee table, and I had no feeling in my legs or hips-Whether this was a blessing or a curse I couldn't decide.

As I opened my eyes to watch his tall, leering form walk out of my front door. I mustered up enough strength to just say- "You'll never beat him. Never."  
All Joker did then was smile and say "You have no idea what I'm capable of."

I awoke with a start. My whole upper body flinching hard against the scratchy sheets of the hospital cot. Breathing hard I calmed the racing horse inside my chest that was my heart.  
Constantly I had the same nightmare that was a memory, all I wanted to do was just forget. I couldn't escape it, not then, not now, and I was afraid that I wasn't ever going to. I contemplated the images that still burned in my mind, this time it was just a little bit better, this time I didn't dream that I had told him that Bruce was actually Batman. I felt tears prick against my eyes. That was the ultimate torture for me, but I knew it was something that I would never do. I would rather die than ever betray Bruce's trust like that, and a few weeks ago I had come very close to doing just that- Dying to protect the secret. His secret. The man I love's secret.

I ran my hands through my auburn hair. I had to stop that train of thought. I can't love Bruce, I love Dick and he loves me... We're going to get married for Christ's sake! Besides, I told myself, Bruce has already told me time and time again that I am too young, and that I am too much like a daughter to him for him to ever love me like that. And too naïve, my brain snidely pointed out.  
Even though it was terribly cruel to think, it was true. It was my fault that Joker was able to find me. If I hadn't tried using the Oracle program on my own computer he would have never been able to find me. Just to think what would have happened if Bruce- or my father, god forbid- had been there? We all could be in the situation I was in now. Or worse. Dead.

I closed my eyes and tried to make sleep come back to me when a knock came at my door.

I kept my eyes closed, I didn't want to have to talk to anyone.

"-right in there, dear." I heard the tail end of a conversation with my elderly night nurse.

"Thanks... Beatrice." My whole body stiffened. The voice belonged to Bruce.

"No problem, sweetie, but if she's asleep I don't want you going and waking her. You hear?"

I could only assume that Bruce nodded because Beatrice said, "Good." And the door creaked shut again.

I could feel Bruce's heavy gaze practically burn into my skin.

"Barbara? You asleep?" The chair that was next to me creaked as he sat down.  
"That's silly of me to ask... Of course you're asleep. Your eyes are shut." Bruce scolded himself. I wanted to open my eyes right then and tell him to piss off. This was the first time he has visited me since they pulled me out of the coma. I loved him, but the least he could have done was come to see me.

As if he could hear my thoughts he said, "I'm sorry I never came to see you. I-" his large hand took a hold of mine. I involuntarily flinched at the cold. "I guess... I've just been so preoccupied trying to find Joker after what he did to you I just didn't have time." Bruce paused for a moment." I had him, you know. Well when I say 'had him' I mean he was in Arkham Asylum... For almost a week. Then he escaped. There have been more attacks. Apparently before you almost all of Joker's therapists have been killed. Well, I say killed, they were actually forced into suicide and then a freaky ass- sorry- backwards 'c' carved into their flesh." Inside I shook my head. Even when Bruce thought I couldn't hear him he apologized for swearing.  
"And of course-" he continued. "-you weren't a therapist and he didn't try to kill you with the same motive but I thought I aught to tell you- even though I guess you can't hear me-... You know Barbara, well you actually don't know... anyway, we found him another therapist and I think it's working this time. She's a real diamond in the rough, this Harleen Quinzel. Joker has actually exhibited emotions. Real fu- sorry- just... Real emotions. Like remorse and he actually well... He apologized about shooting you. I don't even know why!" Bruce gushed. Most all of what he said was incoherently delivered at best; but what I got from it was that Bruce, as Batman, was finally able to make some sort of breakthrough with Joker. Of course he had help by means of this new therapist... But this also meant that Bruce had to put complete trust in this Quinzel girl, and that was something Bruce had major trouble doing. I mean, after Dick left for Metropolis(pissing Bruce off majorly in the process) it took him three years to find a new 'Robin'.

Bruce was still silent, but then made a 'humph' noise and continued;

"Well, I actually got the apology after almost killing Joker." Bruce raised his voice a little, "But in my defense I didn't mean to. It isn't like I knew he had... what was it again? Damn. I can't remember now. It was something to do with his heart being enlarged...? Anyway, I gave him a... tranquilizer... and he lost consciousness... then he couldn't breathe." Bruce chuckled a little, "and now I am so glad you can't hear me... Because I had to preform mouth-to-mouth. God, never in my life..." I could practically feel the shiver that went up Bruce's spine. "Granted, I could have just let him die, I have just let criminals die before... but I just... something ran through my mind then. I don't even know how it stopped me- but I remembered my first encounter with him. That orphanage fire..."

+Bruce Wayne/Batman+

-4:56 AM, August 5, 2004-

I stared as the fire blazed up the sides of the wooden steeples, the structure groaned and another window burst out on the first level. The police had already come and gone, saying that all of their fire crews were on commission putting out forest fires. There was supposedly nobody inside, just old records and school books. The place had apparently shut down a year ago because one of the orphans had committed suicide, leaving a graphic note telling about how he had been abused by the caretaker. She was not charged, because none of the other children would admit to being abused. You could see it in their eyes, though. Spirits broken, vacant expressions, and they all were frightened by the mistress over the 'house'. For one reason or another, the place shut down. It was probably one of the last standing orphanages for miles, but it wasn't standing as tall as it would have before.

As I reminisced, I didn't notice the tell-tale crunch of gravel coming at a rapid pace behind me. A blinding pain went through my left shoulder and I whipped around. I was not accustomed to being surprised, as I was usually the one doing the surprising.

Standing behind me, holding a shard of glass that now dripped blood- my blood- onto the pavement, was a boy not much older than twenty. He was tall and lanky, wearing clothes that looked far too baggy for him. His over-sized sweatshirt hood was pulled up over his head, and by the glow of the fire you could just see the sparkle of his teeth turned up into a smile.

"Hello Batman, it's nice to finally meet you." His voice sounded deranged, and had a strange accent inflicted upon it.  
"Hello..." I raised my eyebrow under my cowl. This was utterly strange.  
"Oh! How terribly rude of me, you probably have no idea who I am," the odd boy dropped the shard of glass and reached into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, "Here's my card." he said withdrawing a playing card and passing it over to me. I knew what face the card had before flipping it over; but I looked anyway, and sure enough it was a Joker.  
I looked from the tall, but skinny boy to the card and back again, squinting my eyes.

"I know what you're thinking. How could someone who looks like- well- this." He gestured to his form, "Be responsible for sixteen-"  
"Eighteen crimes." I corrected, gesturing to the fire.  
"Well, well, look who's been keeping a close eye on me... I suppose you've already guessed that this was my first kill, because somebody was indeed inside. That is why you're saying eighteen, correct?"  
"Yes. The caretaker of the grounds was inside when you lit the fire, wasn't she?"  
He just nodded. "Anyway, I bet you're wondering just how somebody like me could have committed all these delightful crimes-" He said the word crime almost like it was the most wonderful thing in the world, "-and gotten off scot free." He paused to twiddle his thumbs outside his jacket. "To be completely honest, Bats, I have no clue. Although, I'm pretty sure that it's the incompetence of these pathetic excuses that they call Cops here in Gotham." Before I could get a word in, defending the police force, he began talking again. "But you're not like them, are you? You're a vigilante, you're outside the law, you can do whatever you have to so you can get your information." He pulled back his hood finally, revealing the dark creature that was underneath. His face was twisted into a frightening smile, but it was only heightened by the scars that started from the corners of his lips and up his cheeks, carving his mouth into a permanent grin.  
"So, big-bad-Bat, now I'm here and you have your chance to stop me." He closed his mouth and stopped forcing his lips into a smile. Straightening his back and spreading his arms wide he closed his green eyes. I scrunched up my face; I have never had a perpetrator put up less of a fight.

I took one noisy step forward; and the boy opened his eyes. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked, dropping his arms back to his sides.  
"... Capturing you." I say back.  
He made a 'ugh' noise, stomped his foot, and punched the air. "No! No, no, no, no, no! That wasn't the option!" He glared at me. "Your chance to stop me is kill me or let me continue!"

I took a deep breath, "I don't know how closely you've been following my... Vigilante-work... But one thing that is reoccurring with me is that I have a strict moral code-" The boy started to laugh, but it wasn't a normal laugh. It was meniachal, but filled with the same amount of joy as a small child laughing at a cartoon, albeit the edge to this laughter was much darker.

"Oh! I don't think you get it Bats. I know you can't kill me, but I also won't let you stop me. It's the ultimate decision. Kill or let everyone who matters to you- and eventually yourself- die." I squinted my eyes again. What the hell was happening here?

"You want to die?"

"Oh, god no. I just wanted to give you the option though. It's only polite." He says in a matter-of-fact sort of tone.

I let his ultimatum roll around in my brain. Kill him, or let the crime continue? I couldn't do either.

"Clock's wasting away Bats." He said, but the feigned patience in his voice was quickly fading.

"I'll give you until one." The boy held up both of his hands and spread his fingers wide.

"Ten." My mind was racing... I could already tell that he must be powerful-  
"Nine." Enough to take me down, or else he wouldn't be challenging me-  
"Eight." But then again he could be bluffing... Why I felt-  
"Seven." So intimidated by a man that I had never met before this time-  
"Six." Baffled the hell out of me. It wasn't like he was big and burly-  
"Five." On the contrary he was slight, but leering. Lanky, but-  
"Four." Powerful looking.  
"Three."  
"Two." And then I remembered who I was, and that I was in a nearly-bulletproof bat suit. I'd be fine.  
"One."

Then as fast as I could take a battle stance, was he flinging a pocket knife dead straight into the one chink in my armor- the little space right above where the top half of my suit met my utility belt.

It sunk in and I flinched inward, which was probably not the best thing to do, while he stood there clapping jovially like a sixteen year old on their birthday- and they just got a new car.

"Ha! Ha ha ha! I knew that was a long shot; but I got it!"

"What... The hell... Is wrong with you?" I ask stupidly. Brilliant question Bruce. Brilliant.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Daddy issues, Mummy issues, people issues... Oh and brain issues! Lots of those! Like the ones they usually commit people for." He ticked off his 'issues' with his fingers as if they were the most normal things imaginable.

"Right..." I say ripping the knife out of my lower abdomen. It didn't hit anything vital, but I would have one nice scar.

"Oh well, I really have to get going... And if I didn't hurt you too bad, I'd love to play again." He shrugged, again, like this was the most normal situation.

"You won't... Get the chance." I say bravely, knowing that this man... Clearly had the upper hand at the moment.

"Oh don't be so silly. I think I'll be around four many, many, years to come. You're not going to get rid of me as easily as sticking me in a cell of sorts. I'll always get out, and always keep causing chaos!" He clapped his hands and smiled an awkward lop-sided smile. "Doesn't that sound like fun?!"

"Tons." I say with a half-hearted smile of my own.

"Good, good. Oh and in the future, you can just call me-" he put his hands up in front of him in an over-dramatic fashion, "- the Joker."

"R...ight."

"Oh, and Batman?" He strides over to me unafraid, cocky. "You should probably know that, that knife that was just flung into your side was dipped into enough ketimine to bring down an overweight horse... So I really hope you don't die! I mean... I can already tell that you're just gonna be so much fun!" And right on Joker's last, over dramatic, word; I was out cold.

-

"Bruce?" Barbara's thick tone pulled me out of my reverie. I had to blink away the past, before I could actually remember where I was.

"Oh, Babs! It's so good to see you- well- awake." I smiled in vain while she glared at me.

"What the hell happened to your face?" She squinted and lifted her bandaged hand to point at my left cheek. Barbara... swore...

I lifted my hand that was not holding Barbara's and touched the gauzy pad that was there, "Oh, this... There was an encounter with Edward Nygma, and he became the first adversary to actually take a shot at my exposed mouth." I shrugged, because I knew that it was inevitable.

I heard Barbara mutter something that sounded close to "Bastard." I smiled smugly to myself, and rolled my eyes. I remembered fondly the last time somebody touched my- according to Barbara- "pretty, pretty face." It didn't end too well.

"I swear to God if he left a mark I'll...!" Barbara's hand that was in mine curled into a fist, and her eyes visibly hardened.

"Woah, tiger. I'll be fine. It's just a small burn. I don't think he meant to actually hurt me, or he would have had plenty of opportunity to do so when I was on the ground twitching like a rabies-infected dog." I rolled my eyes, and smiled warmly now.

Barbara's eyes softened a bit, but there was still something there that seemed troubled, "Is something on your mind, Barbara?"

"Well, I have something to tell-" Barbara was cut off by a keening ring coming from my vest pocket. "Get it. It's the cave calling."

I smirked and pulled my phone out, sliding my finger across the screen to answer the call. I rubbed my thumb across her clenched knuckles. She pulled her hand away at the contact  
and put it under her neck.  
"Hello?" I said in a half-whispered tone.

"Master Bruce, I have some troubling news to tell you..." Alfred's tone was grave, his usually light accent was heightened by his sorrow.

"Damn. Could this night get any worse? What is it?"

"Miss Kyle returned to her apartment, per your request, and found that her safe was broken into. A safe that supposedly holds a map to the 'approximate' whereabouts of a few high-profile villains. A map that was discovered missing." I gaped, and my mouth fell open with a little 'pop.'

"Wait a minute... Selina has a-a map of where all the villains are? She didn't even tell me?"

"Bruce," Alfred addressed me as if I was twelve again, "Miss Kyle is not exactly bad, but that doesn't mean that a few sleepovers with her entitles you to her criminal paraphernalia." I folded the arm that wasn't holding the phone up to my ear across my chest. Alfred was right, naturally. "But, the even more troubling news is that, Miss Quinzel... Is not at the apartment, and she left a deliberately vague note for Miss Kyle. I suspect-"

"That she's going after her missing patient all on her own. I understand Alfred. Get a tracker activated on her personal cell phone, and I'll be out of the hospital shortly. Oh! and if you would, please get Selina on the line for me. Maybe she would know why Harley would do such a thing."

"I'll do my best... but Miss Kyle said that she was going to go after Miss Quinzel herself."

I tapped my foot and stared apologetically at Barbara, brushing her auburn hair off of her face. "I'll be home soon. Have the car and my suit ready. Oh, and that tracker. Get on that too. Thanks Al. Goodbye."

I hung up and slid my phone back into my pocket and pushed off of my chair. "I'm sorry, Barbara. I would love to talk, but the head Psychologist over Joker's maintenance has gone missing, apparently to look for him. I wish I had time to explain all the details, but Catwoma- Selina Kyle is going after Doctor Quinzel as we speak. I have to go."I stated in a rush.  
Barbara's small hand grabbed my wrist as I turned away, "Bruce...You and this Selina Kyle, who is no doubt also Catwoman, are dating?"

"I- um- The thing is- I can't really define our relationship. Its odd, but... I don't know. It might work out." I shrugged my shoulders, pushing away from Barbara's grasp, "But I really have to go now. Goodbye! I will be back soon." I turned away from Barbara and rushed out of her room as fast as I could.

But, as I was leaving, I could have sworn I heard Barbara say; "Don't Bother."


	19. Chapter 19

*Joker*

It was during a red light, while staring at Harley, that I decided I was in love. It wasn't like it was an easy decision, I mean hell! It was probably only second to my foolish decision to leave her all those years ago. The tragedy of it all, though, was she wouldn't ever feel the same.

It wasn't like I didn't still have faith that she would eventually figure it out, and by some miracle, didn't hate me for what I did; but it was the fact that what I did as an ignorant boy ruined any chance of her ever forgiving me, and I'm not prone to begging for other people's affections.

Harley then flicked her gaze suspiciously over to me, and I stared back out the front wind shield, twirling my thumbs in my lap.

It was almost three in the morning when the car started to swerve in and out of it's appropriate lane, and taking a good glance at Harley I decided it was time to take her home.

"Harley," I placed my hand on the veering wheel, straightening it out, "I think we should switch. You haven't wrecked yet, and I don't want you to fall asleep at the wheel."

By means of reply, Harley pulled over to the side of the road and dropped the keys in my awaiting palm. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, as if waking up a little.

"Sorry for..." She trailed off, loosing the words, "I'm just not used to staying up so late." She said, eyeballing the time displayed on the dash.

"'S alright, not everyone can stay up for weeks at a time, like myself." I teased lightly, pretending to punch her shoulder.

She nodded and pulled the handle to open the door, and I repeated the same action on my side and burst out into the crisp nighttime air.

I was admiring the skyline of Gotham, as we were now somewhere in Arkham city, when I heard Harley squeal and saw her almost fall on her face. I grabbed at her wrists and steadied her, "Woah there!" I said as her face dropped into my chest,

She muttered something like; "So... tired."

Rolling my eyes, I hoisted Harley up into my arms. Her own right arm was limp while the other wrapped deftly around my shoulders.

It was only a few paces to the open car door and as I was setting Harls in her seat, she unexpectedly leaned into my neck and proclaimed, in a sleepy voice, that I smelled nice.

I pursed my lips, as I finished buckling her in, in order to keep myself from giggling. I wanted to tell her that I've been using the same brand of soap for twenty-seven years, so I probably smell the same as I always have. Then I considered all of the other things that were probably on me at the moment; like, that I was probably covered in all sorts of blood and gore so I probably didn't smell all that fantastic.

Though, I just couldn't bring the words to my lips. She was incredibly adorable when she slept, and I didn't want to disturb it with my incessant babbling.

I told myself as I slipped into the driver's seat that I love this girl... and I was very much trapped in it; Tell and have her hate me, or not say anything and have her slip away again.

I bumped my head against the wheel. Dammit, I really wanted to shoot somebody right about now.

%Harley Quinn%

I was about one hundred percent sure I was dreaming, especially because the last place I remember being was in Joker's arms; and I was pretty darn sure that, that was nowhere close to this bland reception area.

I took in my surroundings- each of the four walls were painted a basic off-white and hung from silver nails in the precise center of each wall-except one where the door was, were large black-and-white photos. Walking over to the closest picture, which had little black numbers just under the frame indicating that the picture was taken in '1990', I searched the faces of the children in the picture for somebody I knew- knowing somehow that I would find a familiar one.

I counted the heads of the kids and found there were only six; five in a line from oldest to youngest- judging from the height and maturity differences, with one boy in the arms of the woman who was obviously the caretaker. I squinted my eyes as I honed in on the young woman and the boy in her arms; she was dressed in attire befitting a nun, and she had long dark hair that hung well past her shoulders. Her eyes were happy-looking, and her mouth was set in a big grin that was full of perfectly straight teeth. She looked like a woman that I would love to be friends with.

I shifted my focus to the boy in her arms. He had hair that shaded his eyelids, it was so long- and that fit the description of the boy perfectly. _Long_. Long legs, long arms, long body, and a sad-looking "long" face. I bit my lip and fought back tears that suddenly spring into my eyes as I stroked the glass over the child's image, as if petting the picture would make him cheer up.

I was set on looking at the other pictures in the room, moving next to one that was titled '1995', when I heard a voice that I recognized-

It cried out; "Jason! Is that you? I've missed you so much!" I spun on my heel, looking over the receptionist desk.

Sitting there in a spinny office chair, I saw a young, blue-eyed, girl twirling a piece of her golden hair between her fingers with the receiver of a black, corded telephone pressed excitedly against her ear. She looked a teenage version of... _me_?

"Uh, we need to talk." I jumped a little, surprised that the voice that was obviously speaking to the girl at the desk was speaking to me too. The pang of recognition at this scene before me was almost sickening, and it tugged at the back of my consciousness. Not to mention the familiar tone of the boy's voice.

The blonde girl's face fell minutely, "About what?" She choked out in a terrified whisper.

"I can't be with you anymore." The girl, who was looking more and more alike me with the passing second, dropped the piece of hair that she was twirling in her hand. She looked like she had just been slapped. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Why not?" She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. I found that I was coping her movements, as I bit my own lip to keep the tremors at bay.

"I don't love you." The boy on the line said with so much conviction that it made both the blonde at the desk and myself gasp.

She and I spoke at the same time, saying the same thing; "Jason, this is not something to joke about."

"But, I am not joking. I don't love you, and I never did, Harleen."

Then, everything turned into a blur of senseless voices and colors, spinning all around me at a sickening rate.

Memories, moments lost in time; lost to my ignorance, lost to my neglect, lost to my subconscious, spun around and around in my head.

They all begun with a pair of bright green eyes, and ended with darkness.

Titles, nicknames, names, smells, sounds, places, things, writings, loves, enemies, and so much more was lost and regained all in a matter of seconds, and I didn't want any of it. I let out a soul-ripping scream, because one memory- one _single_ memory, out of the _thousands_ stuck out; and I would've given my life if it meant that I didn't have to remember. Because remembering was going to be painful, and just forgetting was so much easier.

It was several weeks ago, before Joker escaped the Asylum, before Jack went postal; hell, this might as well have been a lifetime ago compared to all of the things I've been through this month...

I was sitting in the sterile environment of an interview room at Arkham Asylum, this was only the second time I had ever interviewed the Joker, as he wasn't allowed to visit my office directly just yet.

"Tell me, doc," Joker's slightly gravelly voice captured my attention in the silence, "What are we gonna talk about today?" He pushed the sleeves of his neon orange jumpsuit up to his elbows and placed his makeup-free face in his hands.

"I don't know," I confessed, staring into his commanding green eyes. "How about you tell me?" I pressed the button on the underside of the table, covertly starting the recording of this session.

"Hmm..." He drummed his fingers over his mouth, and I shifted my stare- thinking for just a minute about what it would be like to kiss him...

I dropped my eyes to the metal table and suddenly huffed out a breath of air that I didn't realize I'd been holding. I blushed an embarrassed crimson at my deviant train of thoughts. I don't even have the slightest idea why I thought about kissing _Joker_...

It took me a minute to regain my composure, and when I did, I was met by a mocking smile. It was like he could _hear_ what I was thinking.

"How 'bout we talk about you." The way he said it made it more of a command than a question. Like he was saying, "You better get talking 'bout yourself right quick, or I'm walking right out the door!"

I smiled- what would be compared to his boisterous smile, a weak smile and proclaimed that there wasn't much to tell.

"C'mon, there has to be something even mildly interesting." He edged on, running his thumb over his bottom lip then tracing it up his left scar.

"I really can't think of anything." I shrugged, training my eyes to his so I wouldn't give my thoughts another chance to deviate.

"Think _harder_." He challenged.

I pursed my lips and spewed the first fact about myself that I could conjure up; "My full name's Harleen Francis Quinzel."

"Harleen _Francis_?" He laughed, and I glared waiting for him to calm down.

"Yes, Francis." I sniffed, sure I was making a face. "'Joker'," I made air quotes, "Isn't that _mainstream_ either." I sneered.

He snorted, "Like I was aiming for boring 'ole mainstream."

"So, what? You don't like my name?" I raised my eyebrows, forcing myself to appear confident, even though I felt like curling up into a little ball in the corner.

"Nope," he said unabashedly, "Too... _fancy_."

I set my mouth in a very unladylike frown, "Well, Joker isn't too great _either_." I shoot back like a child, and something nags at the back of my mind, then, like deja vu. Like I've had this conversation before...

Little did I know, at that time, that I did, in fact, have that conversation before; and with the same person, no less.

I awoke screaming, crying, and clutching onto something soft, but sturdy. I became aware of several things all at once then; a hand was running through my hair, tucking and un-tucking it from behind my ears; that my ear was pressed up against something that was making a quick _thud-thud_, _thud-thud_ noise; and I was very warm.

"Oh Harley! Please, _please_, wake up!" The familiar voice of Joker surrounded me and I snapped my eyes open, gasping for air to cure my burning lungs. I quickly took in the dark room, and judging by the view out of the window I could just barely see over Joker's shoulder, we were back at Selina's apartment.

Under my ear I heard Joker sharply inhale as I hugged his body closer to me. I didn't understand half of my nightmare, but there was one part that was violently clear- and that's when I choked something out that probably shocked us both;

"I don't care what you say," My voice cracked all over the place, against my sobs and gasps for air, "But I love you, and I understand why now; and you're staying! You're not leaving me again. You _can't_. _Please_, just don't do that to me again. Please just stay!" I buried my face in the crook off his arm and sobbed away.

Joker didn't say anything, but he did stroke his thumb across my cheek and allowed me to settle further into his arms. The gesture was small, but it's worth, to me, was far higher than the price of life- of limb, and even- I thought quickly, _sanity_.

In that moment, I was perfectly content. The violent shutters stopped abruptly, and I exhaled away- what I guessed was, ten years of anxiety.


End file.
